


"Please don’t break my heart. Trust me, I've been broken before"

by CherryColaForCB



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I'm not very good at tags, Post-Break Up, read for yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-13 16:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryColaForCB/pseuds/CherryColaForCB
Summary: “Toni.” The girl gasped, rushing to embrace pink-haired, but she recoiled to the side. “Toni?”“What the…?” The girl coughed, crossing her arms and trying not to look into the tearful eyes of the girl opposite. “What are you doing here?”“I don't have anyone else to go to, Toni. You know how hard it is for me to find friends. I don't have anyone else in this town but you.”Toni cast a fleeting glance at the redhead. Yes, there was no doubt that she was facing the same Cheryl Blossom. The girl Toni had known for more than seven years of her life, her former classmate, the one who lived in the same city with her, the one who worked with her in the school newspaper, the one who was her first love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One of me favourite. Please, leave a comment and tell me what you think.

“Gosh, you're so sweet, baby.” Veronica kisses Toni on the lips when girl brings a tray of cookies and tea, placing it in front of the Lodge on the coffee table.

They'd only been dating for a couple of months, but Toni felt like she'd known this girl all her life. And it all began not as in fairy tale. They were forced to become neighbors on apartment, which they rented, and the first time, constantly were fighting. Whether it's a queue in the shower, whether it's dirty dishes or crumbs on the table. Toni was not a conflicted person, but this black-haired rich girl just took her off balance. Toni could definitely tell now that she had her own type: disappointed in her life beautiful bitches who at first did not put Toni in anything. And yes, she was a usual and lived all her life in the poorest district of the city. She had nothing to give to her partners except love, and, as it turned out, not everyone of this was enough.

“Well, mistress, that's enough. Just sit with me.” Ronnie grabbed the girl's arm and pulled her to her lap. “Our little anniversary is coming up, and I was thinking maybe we could take a day off from work and go somewhere.”

“Ronnie, I'd love to, but you know my job won't let me leave New York.” Lodge rolled her eyes, reassuringly rubbing the girl's back. She knew that Toni won't like the conversation, but she no longer wanted to be silent.

“Toni, I know you have a problem with this, but why don't we just take the money from my trust and go on vacation?”

“Not even start.” Topaz exhaled wearily. Yes, Lodge entire life bathed in money, she, with her richest family, this was allowed to. But Toni didn't know what luxury was, she was not used to living at someone else's expense. And her own job in a bookshop, which she combined with her college studies, barely covered her daily expenses.

“Just think about it, okay?” Veronica did not insist, kissing the girl on the forehead and pressing closer. “Let's just watch the movie and relax, like we planned?”

“I thought you'd never offer.” Topaz settled more comfortably in the arms of her girlfriend and closed her eyes. Ronnie loved to watch movies every friday night, because later they could move into the bedroom culturally satisfied and sleep. Pink-haired adored simply listen to movie, basking in the hands of the Lodge and resting after the busiest day in her week. Today she had a few lessons so she can learn the program, and to be honest, it was her least favorite part of the training. She was much more comfortable working with books, studying at home, and then just taking exams. Instead, she had to sit once a week in stuffy classrooms with dozens of unknown people and listen to boring lectures.

“Mmm.” Toni groaned with pleasure as the brunette ran her fingers through her hair. She gently massaged her girl's head, giving her maximum comfort. “You spoil me.”

“Just relax. I know how you hate fridays.” 

“You get tired too.” Toni blissfully breathed out. Veronica decided to live independently of her family recently, so she is not used to making money on her own. But she was good at consulting at the fitness center.

“I just have regular customers, T. I don't have to sit in class and then sell books. Although it’s boring.” Also, the Lodge did not understand why Topaz loves books. But she mentioned that she literally grew up in the library, because her father was, though not very famous, but a talented writer, and her mother instilled in her daughter a love of classics from early childhood. It's not that they don't do it now, it's just that dad is working on a construction site to make more money, and she doesn't get to see her mother as often as she would like. But Toni never tried to explain it to the girl. She didn't want to quarrel and argue over some books she could only share her love with herself.

“Watch the movie, Ronnie.”

The girl grunted, returning her attention to the television. The brunette just loved to watch meaningless comedies that never impressed Toni, so she had only to relax a little, and all her thoughts were clouded. Her legs were buzzing and required rest, so she let herself take a nap. But only she felt a blissful loss of consciousness, as someone knocked on the door.

“Sleep, honey, I'll open it.” Ronnie whispered, thinking Toni had fallen into a deep sleep. She carefully moved her from her knees to the sofa and stood up to open the door to unexpected guests. Indeed, as one might expect someone in the 1 a.m.?

Topaz curled up on the couch because she was cold from losing contact with her girlfriend. She tried to close her eyes again and ignore the TV noise, but she couldn't. The pink-haired woman whimpered in disappointment, turning over on her back and looking at the ceiling.

“Um, Toni?” The girl turned her head toward the door, where Ronnie leaned awkwardly against the jamb. “Someone came to you.”

Topaz frowned, instantly sitting down on the couch. She gets to have visitors only in two options: if something happened in the store and if something happened to the parents. The girl jumped to her feet, making her way into the hall, not even noticing whether Veronica was following her or not. Toni noticed that the door was slightly ajar, but no one came into the apartment, so she abruptly pulled the door over and froze. Forget those two options, because Toni's got a third one. The option she had hoped for, prayed for, asked for not to see again.

“Toni.” The girl gasped, rushing to embrace pink-haired, but she recoiled to the side. “Toni?”

“What the…?” The girl coughed, crossing her arms and trying not to look into the tearful eyes of the girl opposite. “What are you doing here?”

“I don't have anyone else to go to, Toni. You know how hard it is for me to find friends. I don't have anyone else in this town but you.”

Toni cast a fleeting glance at the redhead. Yes, there was no doubt that she was facing the same Cheryl Blossom. The girl Toni had known for more than seven years of her life, her former classmate, the one who lived in the same city with her, the one who worked with her in the school newspaper, the one who was her first love.

“I…” Toni ran her fingers through her hair, not knowing what to do. She's never seen Cheryl like this before. The girl was exhausted, upset, squeezed like a lemon, it was terrible to look at her. But even after nine months of not seeing each other, Toni couldn't think of anything but pure hatred.

“Come in.” The girl stepped aside, allowing Blossom finally cross the threshold of her apartment. She gratefully nodded and went in, immediately getting rid of blood-red louboutins.

“I'm Sorry, Toni. I know I'm the last person you want on your doorstep, but I can't go anywhere else.”

“Your mother lives forty miles away, Cher. You could have gone home.”

“Thistle house was never my home.” Cheryl hung her head, fiddling with the lock on her bag. “Besides, mom wouldn't accept me if she knew what happened.”

“T?” Toni turned her head sharply toward the living room. Veronica her whole appearance showed that angry and wants an explanation. But Toni couldn't divide. She needed to calm her nerves and find out what had happened to Cheryl. What if it was something terrible?

“Sorry, Veronica, this is Cheryl, my high school friend. Cher, this is Ronnie, my...” Toni took a deep breath. She became terribly ashamed, although for that? Cheryl broke up with her almost a year ago. Why would she be ashamed to call someone else her girlfriend?

“I'm her girlfriend, nice to meet you.” Veronica lied awkwardly. Her eyes were screaming: "you're not welcome here".

“I'm sorry to disturb you so late. Just…”

“Nothing.” Ronnie stopped her attempts to justify herself. “Toni's friends, my friends. I hope you can handle your friend. I'll go and make the bed, since we can't continue our night.”

“Forgive me.”

“Stop apologizing, Cher. Let's go to the kitchen.” Toni walked forward, avoiding contact with the girl. She walked around the kitchen table and stopped at the sink, picking up a glass of water and handing it to the girl. She gratefully accepted and drank it for a couple of sips. It was evident that she was crying a lot, so it was no wonder that she was dehydrated to such an extent. 

“Will you tell me what happened to you?” Toni crossed her arms again. She wanted to close from this girl, because she was a real emotional vampire. Toni could never control herself around her. And now, her anger slowly but surely turned into pity.

“My boyfriend…” Cheryl sobbed, immediately covering her mouth with her hand. “He broke up with me, and I have nowhere else to go.”

“What about our... your apartment?” Toni had to find this apartment after she hurriedly moved out of their former cohabitation.

“I moved in with him, and that apartment is now being rented to other tenants. The truth is, I don't have enough money to check into a hotel, so I thought of you.”

“How do you know my address?” Toni frowned. No one could tell Cheryl her new address because they had no mutual friends in New York, only their mutual friends in Riverdale. But Toni hadn't even talked with Fangs and Sweet Pea, which could be called her brothers. They had a life of their own: Sweet Pea was the heir to several auto shops on the South side, and Fog, like, went to the Empire of Boxing clubs of his boyfriend's father. Toni had a studying, a job and a girlfriend.

“You'll be angry.” Cheryl whispered as tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

“What else, Cheryl?”

“I called Amelia.” Toni gasped in indignation, clutching the edges of the sink she was leaning on with her fingers.

“Did you call my mom?” Toni shouted, but immediately diminished ardor, because she didn't want Veronica to hear. Lodge was so annoyed by the appearance of a stranger on their doorstep, and if she also finds out that Cher is familiar with her whole family not at all as a childhood friend… Toni would tell her, but not under these circumstances.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please. I knew you wouldn't like it, but, God, Toni, I had no one else to turn to. Even though you hate me.”

“I would forgive you, Cheryl. I would have forgiven you if you'd just break up with me. But I caught you in our bed with another guy, you think it's so easy to forget?”

Toni's eyes misted with tears for a moment as she recalled that hideous scene. But she also came the realization of something more horrible.

“Don't tell me it's him?” Toni raised her voice, approaching closer to Cheryl. “You mean you came to me after you broke up with the guy you cheated on me with?”

Toni cried. She just couldn't help herself, and a soft moan escaped her lips.

“You don't have a heart, Cheryl?”

“Toni, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.” Cheryl hugged herself and shook. It was like a heartbreaking drama that could be on TV right now. They just stood there in silence, crying, looking at each other, Cheryl in pain, and Toni in a mixture of bitterness and betrayal.

“I'll let you sleep over, but then you go. You leave and you'll never be in my life again.” Toni pointed a finger at Cheryl. “You've ruined everything in our relationship. I really hoped I could forgive you someday, but you left me no choice.”

Topaz walked past the girl, touching her shoulder. The tears still didn't stop, but that didn't prevent her take Cheryl to the couch. She knew that even if her hatred would be on the hundredth level, she wouldn't let Cheryl sleep on the street.

“You can use the bathroom, anything. But I hope when I wake up, you won't be here.”

“Thank you, Toni.”

Toni walked past her again, this time, completely ignoring the presence of the girl. She wanted to get into the shower, cry alone, and go back to bed with a girl who would definitely help her cope. Toni noticed the light in the bedroom, and realizing that Veronica was still busy, she slipped into the bathroom. 

She hastily pulled off her clothes, even then, barely holding back the sobs. But she was worth it to get into the shower and turn the water on, she has failed to endure. The girl leaned against the wall of the booth and rolled down. She hugged her knees and buried her nose in them. Tears flowed down her cheeks and mixed with hot water, forever hiding in the sewers. Toni felt as if her insides had been turned inside out, that her heart had been ripped out and trampled on. She remembered how nine months ago, she felt the same way. She remembered coming home with the good news that she had finally been able to enter the journalism course at the faculty she had always dreamed of. Toni kept telling Cheryl about the plan throughout her senior year, but apparently her girlfriend didn't care.

Toni found Cheryl completely naked on their joint bed, while next to her lay naked guy. It was also the last time she saw Sweet Pea, because she asked him to get her stuff out of the apartment. She couldn't even catch a glimpse of Cheryl because she'd loved her all her conscious life, and she'd done that to her. 

Of course, they've never had anything easy in a relationship. Cheryl crazy long time to accept herself as time has shown, even now, she stubbornly ignored the part of her that liked girls. They had enough problems with Penelope blossom, too, but they gone through it. 

Topaz felt their love growing stronger by the minute. When they moved to New York, she couldn't get enough of her happiness. Although, obviously, only she was happy.

Girl was distracted from the memories by a persistent knock at the door. Toni got up on jelly legs, holding a hand of the wall so as not to fall. She looked in the mirror, her cheeks flushed, her eyes red. Only an idiot wouldn't know she was crying, but Toni was determined to keep the truth from Ronnie for as long as possible. She just can't go through that again while Cheryl's here. As soon as girl leaves their house, she can confess to Veronica. But not now, please. The girl turned off the water and wrapped a towel around her body. She reluctantly got out of the shower and opened the door. The girl exhaled loudly with relief, noticing the brunette in the doorway.

“Anything you want to explain to me, Topaz?” Veronica was angry. The muscles in her cheekbones were tense.

“I'll tell you everything, but not now. Please, baby.” Toni approached to Veronica, taking her hands in hers.

“Okay.” Lodge immediately relented, pulling the girl into her arms. “I just don't want us to have secrets. Secrets always ruin a relationship. But I'm ready to give you time, love.”

Toni smiled slightly. She put her hand on the back of Veronica's neck and kissed her deeply. Previously, it helped her to get rid of bad thoughts, but apparently, the algorithm no longer worked. As soon as she closed her eyes, she saw a red-haired woman standing on her doorstep.

“Let's go to bed, you're barely standing.”

Toni allowed herself to be led into the room. She didn't care if she was dressed or not. She just threw a wet towel on the floor and put on her underwear. Veronica was right, she didn't even have the strength to talk anymore. She went to bed, allowing Veronica to put her arm around her waist and kiss the back of her head.

“I love you. Good night.” Ronnie whispered.

“Good night.” Toni took a deep breath, praying that her brain has not played a malicious joke with her and not made her thinking about Cheryl again.

****

Cheryl woke up with pain all over her body. Not in her position to complain, but the couch was more than uncomfortable to spend the whole night on. She rolled onto her back and groaned. Combined with the headache, it was unbearable. But she was grateful with all her heart that Toni hadn't kicked her out as soon as she saw her on her doorstep, even though she had every reason to do so. But the most selfish part of Blossom knew that the girl was too kind to kick her out. No one in Cheryl's life cared for her as much as Toni did for seven years. God, even Jason. Cheryl loved her brother with all her heart, but he always had a life of his own that he put first. Toni thought of others first. And that's what Cheryl paid her back: a broken heart.  
The girl tried to get up, her body throbbing, so she lay back for a while. She groped for the phone on the floor and checked the time. Were about seven and a half after morning, so that long lie she could not. Cheryl had promised Toni that she would leave as soon as she woke up, and she was going to keep that promise for once in her life. 

Cheryl was disgusted that she'd run to Toni after what she'd done. You can judge her, but she's still selfish. She could have found someone to spend the night with, but she wanted so desperately to see the pink-haired girl. She wanted just look at her, remember the image she had cherished in her head for many years. Deep down, she hoped to find Toni alone. She was hoping for comfort, no matter how vile it sounded, because she didn't deserve Toni.

But she thinks that girl deserved it. Toni could be happy with her, and she would be, so Cheryl had better just stay out of it. She'll just walk away and drown her grief in alcohol. The grief of heart that broken by her ex? No, it's a different grief.

She heard a noise in the kitchen and turned her head. Muscle immediately lit, but it was ignored. There was no wall between the living room and the kitchen, so Cheryl could easily see what was going on. She noticed the brunette was fumbling with a teapot and a few mugs.

Cheryl realized she had to go. She always took from Toni so much, once, she could, and give her something. Peace and quiet, for example. The girl slowly rose from the hard surface of the couch, flexing her stiff limbs. Her silk dress, which she wore to Nick's charity event, was pressed and wrinkled in some places. But she didn't care. Now she had to decide how to interpret story her mother so that she would not deprive her of her last means of livelihood. It's been a year since Cheryl dropped out of College, but she never found a job. So her life literally depended on Penelope Blossom. No matter how disgusted she became.

Cheryl gathered her few things and carefully slipped into the hallway. She didn't want any of the tenants to see her, she just didn't want to bother anymore.

“Are you going somewhere?” Cheryl shuddered at the harsh tone, even dropping the shoe she was about to wear.

“Homeward.” Cheryl straightened up, glancing at the brunette who was standing in the kitchen doorway with her robe on and her arms crossed. What could Toni find in her?

“Just run away after everything Toni's done for you? You didn't even thank her.” Veronica raised an eyebrow.

“Trust me, she'll be a lot happier if she doesn't see me here.” Blossom pursed her lips. She did not want to talk to this girl for obvious reasons: she was her ex's girlfriend. 

“Is that what you do to your friend? Why was she so upset when she saw you?”

Cheryl rolled her eyes. It's understandable that they haven't dated for a long time, since this girl doesn't understand Toni that well. Cheryl wasn't the best girlfriend, maybe she was the worst, but she always saw Toni right through. Blossom could tell exactly why she was worried, she knew how she behaved when she was nervous, when she was angry, when she was happy. The smallest girl's micro motions Cheryl learned. But if they are serious, this girl will also learn over time.

“Thank you again for helping me.” Cheryl put on her shoes, ignoring the urge to say goodbye to Toni. She was so fucking selfish so often. She just couldn't take it anymore. Blossom did not even turn to Veronica, leaving the apartment and carefully closing the door.

She had so many worries, but honestly, nothing after that incident nine months ago could disappoint her. She always remembered that day as a nightmare. Although she didn't remember, Toni's look etched in her mind perfectly. The girl shook her head so as not to delve into her thoughts and cry again.

She pulled her phone out of her bag while she was in the elevator. She had about a hundred dollars to go back to Riverdale for a while. She could stand her mother while she wrote her a check. But she knew Penelope very well, for a long time relying on her was impossible. Therefore, she urgently needed to find a job. For the first time.

“Penelope Blossom.”

“Mom, you know very well it's me.” Cheryl rolled her eyes. She looked up, clinging to the inscriptions in the old elevator, trying not to think about the bad.

“Admit. Is there something you wanted?”

“Nicholas and I broke up, mom.” Blossom gulped, preparing for the portions of the insults.

“Is there something you wanted?” Mrs. Blossom said it more rudely.

“Isn't it obvious, mother? I need money!” The elevator finally stopped and Cheryl got out, immediately heading out of the building to catch a taxi.

“Do I look like the person who has money? I'm working, dearie, and you're only spending everything. No wonder that boy left you.” 

“Sure, mom. All I'm asking for is money for an apartment, and then I'll get a job.”

There was silence for a moment. Cheryl was standing on the outside. As purposely in this area of the city taxi did not go every minute, so Cheryl's body immediately began to cool under the gusts of fresh morning air.

“Okay. You can come.”

The girl gasped, dropping the call. She knew she wouldn't get away with it. Penelope would remember all girl's sins, including Toni, as soon as she appeared on the doorstep of their family estate. But Cheryl is willing to endure almost anything to back to the city and not stay to the devil's lair. Cheryl managed to catch a taxi only ten minutes later, but she was lucky that it would take her some time to get to Riverdale. It gave her time to rest and prepare.


	2. Chapter 2

“Did you ask her to explain?” Toni sat at the table, twisting a mug of hot tea in her hands. She had been silent for half an hour and refused to comment on what was happening. “Come on, tiny. Just tell me.”

Sweet Pea sat down beside her, holding her shoulders. She buried her nose in his broad chest and her shoulders sank. She couldn't cry anymore, she wanted to, but she couldn't.

“She just…” Toni sobbed and shook her head.

“Well. I think I can talk to red. Do you want to stay with me? Josie will be all for it, she missed you so much.”

“It is not necessary, Pea. Just don't touch her. I never want to see her again. I hate her.” Toni's voice hoarse due to lack of use. 

“Hey, don't say that! You love her! And I'm sure she'll have a pretty good excuse.”

“I don't need excuses from a person who swore eternal love to me yesterday and fucked someone else today.” Sweet Pea pressed Toni even closer, because apparently a new wave of tears was about to follow her.

“We're all with you, tiny. Everything's going to be okay.”

Toni jumped up in bed, throwing off the blanket on the floor. Her forehead was sweating like she was starting a fever. But she felt fine, physically, of course. Her head was a mess. She knew she was dreaming about Cheryl. She always dreamed of her when she was very upset. Toni reads somewhere that this can happen, if difficult to survive the emotional turmoil.

She was lucky Veronica wasn't around. It was clear: saturday was one of the busiest days of her work, and from the looks of the high sun, it was too late.

Toni glanced at her watch and her brows furrowed. It was almost three o'clock in the afternoon. She had never slept so long because she didn't feel so tired. The last month, when Veronica literally moved into her room, Toni used to wake up from gentle kisses all over her face, from warm palms, striving to cover every part of Toni's body. But today… Ronnie definitely took offense because of yesterday. It can be understood. Topaz mentioned all her friends, didn't introduce them, of course, but mentioned. And here, some stranger, who is hardly suitable for the role of best friend, appears in the middle of the night and brings Toni out of emotional balance at the click of fingers.

Toni had to prepare herself to tell the story. Everything as it is, without lie. 

The girl still had a little lay down, but still decided to get up. She took a quick shower to wash away the sweat from the nightmares that hadn't actually haunted her for a while. She brushed her teeth, washed, put on normal clothes, not just underwear, and went to the kitchen. Ronnie carefully left a glass of coffee, already cold, of course, and a note.

“I know you'll wake up late, but making coffee is a habit. Breakfast and juice in the fridge. Love, Ronnie.

Toni smiled, running her fingers across written in perfect handwriting, the Lodge letters. This girl was her angel. Yes, she was her type of rich bitch, but her concern for the people she loved knew no bounds. Toni knew that she was incredibly lucky with this girl, so keeping secrets from her became even harder.

Today Toni had a day off at the bookstore, so she decided to spend the day studying. She had a clear plan of preparation for the upcoming exams, according to which she had to sit at the textbooks for at least a couple of hours. And the rest of the time she could have spent on a conciliatory dinner. Veronica used to cook at their house because her brazilian roots literally made her turn on latin music and flutter around the kitchen with ingredients for another intricate meal. But today, Toni decided to please her girlfriend with some simple meal. All the more to talk to the for a glass of guilt will be easier, than simply so.

Topaz was a little too long for textbooks, because after three hours of classes, her head was spinning, and her eyes began to water. The girl got out of bed, throwing the book aside. She lightly kneaded her stiff limbs and went to the kitchen to prepare the ingredients for the pasta.

Along the way, Toni grabbed the phone from the table and checked social medias. Veronica didn't text or make any calls. She could only guess how angry she was. Toni poured water into a pot to make spaghetti, and dialed girlfriend's number.

“Yes?”

“Hey, Ronnie.”

“Sorry, Virginia's not working today. You could sign up for her on monday or visit another master.” 

Toni waited, allowing the Lodge to end the conversation with the client.

“Hello, love.”

Topaz couldn't help but smile at Veronica's soft voice. The heat spread through her body.

“How about you quit your job and come to dinner?”

“Why are you cooking? What's the occasion?” 

Toni bit her lip, slowly stirring the spaghetti she had just dipped into the water.

“Apology? Really, baby, I'm so sorry about last night. I just want to make it up to you and talk to you heart to heart.”

“You know I'm not angry. I was honest with you, saying I could give you enough time. And you don't have to say what you don't want to say.”

“I think you should know a little more about my life. Even if it's bad details.”

“I'll be home in an hour and a half. And know this, I hope not only for a delicious dinner.” The tone of Veronica's voice dropped slightly, making everything inside Toni tremble. She wasn't kidding when she said this girl could calm her down. Veronica always chose the simplest but most effective relaxing phrases.

“If you will behave well.”

The girl laughed, hanging up the phone and returning attention to their future dinner.

****

Cheryl was uncomfortable in this house. She had to live in Thistle house only a year after the burning of Thornhill, but even at that time, she preferred to be somewhere else. After the Jason gone, and even dad, the house has ceased to be a home. All Cheryl expected within these walls was rudeness and violence at the hands of her own mother. So Cheryl was easier to meet in the school newspaper than in her own living room.

And now, after an unpleasant conversation with her mother, during which she didn't shed a single tear, girl just needed to relax. She could easily have visited Betty and Jughead in their little house on the outskirts, which they had bought immediately after graduation. She could have gone to Southside to visit Sweet Pea and Josie. But instead, she went to the supermarket to buy a couple of bottles of wine for the change she had left from her trip to Riverdale. All she wanted to do was not think about Toni for a minute. After meeting face-to-face, Cheryl has become more difficult to confront her thoughts.

She'd rather go to Sweetwater, where she was haunted by the thought of Jason's death, which clearly hurt her less than the pain she'd caused the pink-haired woman. There were moments when the memory of the incident on that river made her think of suicide, but thanks to Toni, she got over it. No one helped her do it better, no therapist her mother tried to push her to.

The girl found some things in her old room in the mansion to change from an uncomfortable dress, and decided to walk to the store on foot. She needed some fresh air, something to think about.

She didn't want anyone she knew to recognize her, not with a few bottles of wine under her arm. Cheryl was the girl showed great promise. She wouldn't be surprised if she found out that half of her former classmates had seen Cheryl in a business where she was going to be a head bitch than she was in high school. But disappoint them? To say that for three years after high school, she has achieved absolutely nothing?

Cheryl was standing at the checkout, every second looking around herself, to no one saw her. But apparently, today was not her day. Just like the last nine months.

“Cheryl?” This soft voice girl would not confuse with anything. It was clearly passed down the female line in the Topaz family.

Blossom took a deep breath, begging the cashier to cancel the purchase. She pulled on a fake smile and turned to see Amelia Topaz's good-natured smile.

“Hello.”

“Oh, honey, is that really you? I don't think I've seen you for years.”

That was only partially true. Cheryl was the last time visited this woman together with Toni for Christmas last year, just over a month until the terrible day in her life.

“It's really me, Mrs. Topaz. I stopped by for a few days to see my mom and grandma.”

“I hope you'll do me a favor and come in for tea.”

Cheryl hated that this woman was so good to her. She certainly didn't know what Blossom had done to her only daughter, if she still treated Cheryl so respectfully.

“I don't think that's right. I’m so sorry.”

Cheryl looked down at the floor to avoid looking at an exact replica of Toni Topaz. She always wondered why Toni was so much like her mother.

“Come on, Cheryl. Remember how much fun we used to have over a cup of tea and a good story? I understand that you and Antoinette didn't break up in the best way, but eventually, couples break up.”

And then Cheryl wondered if Toni had told the truth about their breakup with her mother. But to sit in pleasant company with this woman? It was too tempting an offer, because Amelia was friendlier and more caring than her own mother.

“So what? Will you wait until I pay for my purchases? Jonathan will be happy to see you, too. Better you to his stories applies only Toni.”

Cheryl nodded, causing the woman to smile even warmer, making the girl's soul started to scrape the cats. She didn't deserve any of the Topaz family she'd been with throughout high school. She had only to meet Toni in eighth grade, as they almost immediately became best friends. Cheryl was never allowed to be friends with anyone from the South side, but her parents couldn't help it when Toni and some other guys went to Riverdale high school.

Blossom kindly helped the woman to carry the bags of food to the car in which she sat. Amelia spent the whole trip trying to ask Cheryl about her life, and the girl had to lie. She couldn't say she'd dropped out of college, cheated on Toni, spent all nine months of her life with alcohol and drugs at her boyfriend's parties. The older Topaz remembered her not that a girl.

The woman was not mistaken when she said that Toni's father would also be happy to see the girl. Topaz always was close with her family, what Cheryl would never have realized, but her father she simply adored. Toni could talk about how talented her dad was for hours, and the redhead was happy about it. So she strongly supported the idea of a girlfriend to become a journalist. But lately, she hasn't exactly been interested in her hobbies. Instead of sharing her joy of getting in, she brought a guy into the house.

“So, why isn't my daughter with you now?”

Cheryl looked away from her thoughts, noticing that the tea in her mug had cooled slightly. She looked up at the man in the chair opposite her.

“It's very difficult, Mr. Topaz. Toni and I split up for not very nice reasons.” Cheryl swallowed the lump that rose in her throat. She didn't deserve any of this. The way Jonathan threw his arms around her as soon as she crossed the threshold, the way Amelia ran to prepare her signature casserole, the taste of which Cheryl remembered from the hike in the forest in the ninth grade, to which they went with Toni hand in hand.

“Oh, I'm not going to pressure you, honey. I remember how upset Antoinette was. I was the happiest father when I saw her eyes shining next to you. But is there anything you can do to make it up?“ 

The man frowned as he took the biscuits from the tray. Cheryl was grateful that Amelia was in the kitchen. It was always easier to lie to Jonathan. For example, in tenth grade, when she and Toni went to spend the night in Thornhill, but did not go there for obvious reasons. They spent the whole night lying in a tent on the shore of Sweetwater, basking in each other's arms and sharing the blissful kisses. Their relationship was just beginning.

“I really hurt her, Mr. Topaz.” Cheryl took a deep breath, fingering the handle of the glass.

“Just call me Jonathan, Cheryl. I've been reminding you for almost a decade. And remember, you can never give up love. You still love her, don't you?”

The girl could not hold back the tear that rolled down her cheek. She slightly turned away, trying to look like she was watching Amelia. She, at that time, wiped a salty path.

“I don't think I'll ever stop loving her. But I can't undo what I've done. I cheated on her.” The words flew from her lips. When she realized this, she looked at the man in horror. He was surprisingly calm. Not that Cheryl expected him to yell at her, but she didn't see any hatred in his eyes.

“Everything happens in this life.” 

The man cleared his throat, sitting more comfortably in the chair. Cheryl noticed that it was hard for him to sit in one place. He was growing old relentlessly, doing the hard work at Fred Andrews’s construction site. He put the mug of tea on the table, and from the look in his eyes, Cheryl knew she was in for a story.

“When Toni was four years old, Amelia and I had a big fight. I was finishing one of my first books at the time, and she, like any woman, did not believe that the work of a writer can be profitable. Back then, we were still living in a bad trailer, and we could barely afford good clothes and food. But I was determined to fulfill my dream, whether someone would support me or not. Amelia asked me to come to work, but I couldn't give up my story, which I thought could make me popular. It just so happened that I left. I just picked up my stuff, kissed my little girl, and left. I wandered around the city for a long time, until I decided to look into the bar. There I met a woman whose name, to my shame, I can no longer remember. As you might have guessed, I cheated on Amelia.”

Jonathan stopped, slightly out of breath. Cheryl listened to him very carefully, trying to understand what he's getting at.

“I regretted it when I was sober. I ran home with all my legs, dreaming to see my beloved wife and daughter. I told Amelia about my betrayal, tearfully begging her not to leave me. I was ready to live on the street next to the trailer, ready to give up everything to stay with the only woman I ever loved. But she did the impossible, Cheryl. This delightful woman forgave me, and I dared not even look at the other women again. You must be wondering why I told you this story. I just want to open your eyes: you loved each other as much as I've never seen people love before. All you have to do is fight for my girl.”

Cheryl's eyes cleared. She looked at the man as a hero who, unlike her, was not afraid to stand up for his own. Girl smiled, and Jonathan, seeing, that she realized, smiled in the answer.

“Well, my darlings! Have you talked enough? Can we go to the table now?” Amelia looked in the sitting room, with a happy smile watching her husband and Cheryl.

“Yes, I'm very hungry.” Jonathan winked at young girl. “Come on, Cheryl, tell us about New York.”

****

Now Toni understood why she so rarely was cooking. Pasta she was able to cook perfectly, but vegetable ragout, which she was preparing as a dressing, she burned twice. She was almost desperate to cook something edible when she heard the sound of the door opening.

“I am at home.” Veronica closed the door with a distinctive thud, indicating a not-so-good day at work. The girl sometimes came across the most inveterate bullies, which was worth looking for. And she, with her quick temper, often quarreled with them.  
Toni whispered curses under her breath as she ran around the kitchen and set the dishes on the table. She spread the pasta on the plates and poured the wine, praising herself that at least she had thought of preparing the sauce for spaghetti.

“I'd ask you not to come into the kitchen until I say I'm all set.” Toni stopped in the middle of the room, wiping her hands with a towel and looking down at herself. She was wearing fluffy pajama pants and a black t-shirt: not the most romantic outfit for dinner with a girl. But in the end, she wasn't sure they would have anything after the conversation that was coming.

“Toni, I love you and your cooking in every way. I don't care what you look like. I just want to see my girlfriend.” Toni noticed that the girl took off her shoes and threw her things on the floor in the hallway, making her way directly to the kitchen.

The girl sighed nervously. It took her the last couple of hours to come up with a story that was quick and clear. She was not going to go into the details of their relationship with Cheryl, telling something like: dated – Cheryl cheated – broke up.

“Good. You can come at your own risk.”

The brunette went straight to Toni, wrapping her in a hug and kissing. Topaz was slightly taken aback but wrapped her hands around a girl's neck, deepening the kiss. God, she had missed it all day, she was so tormented by the realization that Veronica was angry.

“I miss you.” Ronnie pulled back slightly, leaning her forehead against Toni's forehead.

“Me neither. But I was also worried that you decided to break up with me.”

“Come on, you know I'd be too lazy to find a new apartment.” Ronnie smiled, smacking the girl's lips again before pulling away and sitting down at the table. “Mmm, my favorite pasta.”

Toni laughed, passing and sitting down opposite the girl.

“I'm not sure it's edible at all. There was supposed to be ragout, but what's not, isn't.”

“It's alright.” Ronnie tried the first fork of spaghetti and groaned. “I'm gonna eat everything my beautiful girlfriend made.”

Toni found it a little strange that Ronnie was so gentle with her. Don't think, she always pays enough attention to various affectionate nicknames, and things like that, but today, after their little quarrel, it was unusual. The girls ate in a cozy silence, sometimes Ronnie commented on her day. She also had a little fight with Toni because she sat for a long time for the preparation and could spoil the vision. But, no matter how they stretched their conversations about the little things, both aware that the main conversation is inexorably approaching. Toni poured the last of the wine into the glasses when their plates were empty. She stirred the liquid in the glass a little nervously, watching it settle on the glass frame.

“Toni.” Veronica put her hand on the girl's arm, which was resting on the surface of the table. “You don't have to say it now. I'll be fine with it, I don't want to hurt you with memories.”

The girl cleared her throat, shaking her head from side to side.

“No, I must.” Toni took a deep breath, remembering the exact story she was about to tell. “Cheryl and I are not just friends, Ronnie. We've been friends for over seven years, but the truth is, we've dated. Most of the time we've known each other, we've been in a relationship.”

Toni cast a quick glance at Veronica, who was not surprising. She must have realized it yesterday.

“We graduated high school together, moved to New York together, but after a couple of years, things changed. I was blind to think that everything was fine, but of course, the situation did not escalate in one day. I just didn't want to take it seriously.”  
Toni didn't go into details, but she often blamed herself for not noticing the change in Cheryl before. What if she forgot about her admission for a minute and asked the girl what was bothering her? Maybe they would still be together? But she doesn't want that! Why would she want Cheryl when she has Veronica?

“One day I came home and found her in bed with a guy, that's the whole story. We broke up, and I never saw her again until last night.”

“Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.” Ronnie got up from the table, walking over to Toni and squatting in front of her. “Forgive me.”

“That is all right. You should have known, and I shouldn't have lied to you yesterday. I'm just too emotional about it.”

“Do you know why she did it?”

Toni shook her head. She didn't insist on it, limited all communication with Cheryl. She simply did not give the girl to explain, but she had that right.

“I don't want to hear her excuses, Ronnie. She hurt me, that's all that matters to me.”

Veronica nodded, placing kisses on the backs of pink-haired hands.

“We talked about your ex. I suggest we never remember her again, okay?”

Toni took a deep breath. It was so easy for Ronnie to forget. But what about the fact that Toni couldn't forget the redhead? How could she ever forget the person she had loved for so long and so much, unbearably much?

“Certainly. And now…” Toni abruptly got to her feet, lifting Veronica with her. “I want you in our bedroom right now.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't criticize me too much

Cheryl took a deep breath, turning on her other side. It was only five a.m. on Sunday, but the dream decided to leave her. The girl rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Nothing in her room had changed since her move, the same red and black tones, the same trinkets, the shelves of books, half of which had been borrowed from the Topaz family, a few photographs taken by Toni. Everything here was reminiscent of her past life, where she was a deviant child with tyrannical parents and a dead twin brother, but she was also happy in this room. So many times she was happy right here on this bed in Toni's arms.

Cheryl was supposed to leave today. After yesterday's conversation with Jonathan and Amelia, she was inspired to return everything to its place and correct the most heinous mistakes. She decided to return to the college and find a job. Penelope gave her last loan yesterday, she promised not to bother her mother again if she could. Any child would be offended to hear from the mother of words like: never come back here, you are the disappointment of this family. But Cheryl is so used to such phrases that just fell on her deaf ears. 

She was very happy to back in New York. Cheryl absolutely has decided to follow the example of Jonathan. Even if Toni never forgives her, she'll do anything to at least explain everything to her. She'll beg Toni to listen to her. But there's no way she's missing the microscopic chance that Antoinette will come back into her life.

An hour later, Cheryl was desperate to sleep and decided there was no better time to leave. She no longer wanted to see her mother, and her grandmother barely recognized her. But Roseanne Blossom never was a model grandmother, cursing all the descendants of Penelope's Blossom, she was disappointed that the twins not died in childhood. So Cheryl didn't feel a special kinship. To the family of Topaz she said goodbye yesterday, trying not to notice how hopeful Jonathan watched her. This man believed in her, it was worth the effort.

Cheryl has found the most inexpensive apartment, which only could offer megapolis. She had enough "last", as her mother put it, money to find a place to live and make a deposit to the college. She just needed to find a job, but she didn't know where to start looking. The girl almost never worked in her entire life. Yes, a couple of times she had to work part-time in Pop's, when Toni was impatient to go to a winter camp to take a break from the constant control of the Blossoms and go skiing. Then they spent almost two months working in Pop Tate's cafe. But Cheryl would be lying if she said she regretted it. It was a lovely two weeks holiday away from her family and judgmental classmates.

Also, the girl had little experience as an assistant to mayor McCoy, but it is unlikely she would find something suitable in New York. Blossom spent the whole sunday moving her few belongings and setting up a small apartment on the sixth floor. She's been living with Nick for the last months, so she had to see the guy again to get her clothes. He grinned, noticing how broken she looked, but she smiled back, showing she no regrets.

She could even say that they broke up by mutual consent. Cheryl felt nothing for him, trying to save the relationship for show and for the mother, who for the first time looked at her as a normal child, but Nick understood. He realized that he was being led by the nose, and asked the girl to move out. Not that she was heartbroken, but it still made her cry a little. More out of desperation than a breakup.

It also took Cheryl a good half of monday to get back to college. No one would have taken her if she hadn't been the best student lawyer's faculty before she dropped out. But, of course, the girl had to make a lot of effort in order to persuade the rector to take her, not without the additional amount that covered the whole year of training. And now, the second half of the day, the girl happily decided to spend in searching job that was needed.

The girl was looking for a store for a long time. She was lucky that she came across this ad in the newspaper this morning. The bookstore wasn't that far from her new apartment, not even far from to the college where she was enrolled. That was one of the reasons Cheryl had even considered the idea of working in this place. Another reason, most likely, was the love of books. She spent her entire childhood with books because she had no friends. A few years later, she preferred a well-chosen book to walks with people she didn't know.

Jason never shared her love for books, trying to get her out of the house. But the girl did not want to become a burden to her brother, because none of his friends really didn't want to communicate with her. Cheryl wasn't going to make them. Maybe that's why she got close to Toni so quickly. Girls, frankly, met on additional classes on the study of English literature. And until the moment they became friends, Cheryl just loved to have discussions with the new girl in class on Saturdays  
Cheryl pushed the door open, hearing the bells ringing above her head. This job ideally would fit because the ad said about convenient schedule for the students that could offer the employer.

“Excuse me?” Blossom enters the store, immediately noticing how comfortable it was inside. Everywhere the smell of books, which she loved so much. The walls were painted in warm colors, which pleased the eye.

“Wait a minute.” The girl stopped, noticing the young man leaning out from under the counter. He straightened up, picking up a few books, presumably from the boxes under the table. “Can I help?”

Blossom came closer, immediately extending her hand for greeting.

“Cheryl Blossom. I'm here for the ad. Do you really need a seller?” 

“Oh, I'm sorry.” The man wiped his hands on the apron that was over his clothes. “Arnold Stevenson.”

He smiled warmly, shaking hands with the redhead.

“Yeah, I need a second seller. I usually work here with a girl, but circumstances force me to leave New York for a while.”

“Oh.” The girl frowned slightly. “So it's not a permanent job?”

“I assure you, if you really show yourself as a good employee, I will offer you a permanent job.”

Actually, Cheryl was fine with it. She could no longer afford to look for work, and here everything was as it should be.

“So, can we discuss the details?”

“Sure. Let's go to a more comfortable place.”

Oddly enough, after a little further into the store, Cheryl noticed a few tables.

“I see your astonished gaze.” Arnold grinned, taking off his apron and putting it on the counter, coming out from behind it. “Sure, it's a store, but I like to read books at this table. And my colleague often rests here, too. It's like a comfort zone just for the staff. Are you a student?”

Cheryl nodded and sat down gratefully as Arnold pushed back the chair by the window.

“You can do your homework here if you don't have time. I'm sorry, but we need to wait for my colleague to discuss your schedule. You will work together, except for a few days when you have important classes. She's usually never late, something must have happened. Can we discuss the employment contract for now?”

“Sure.”

The time flew by quickly. Cheryl got carried away talking to a man who really did what he loved. It was obvious that he could talk about books without a break. Cheryl liked everything: convenient schedule, enough money, plus various benefits, like the time she could spend studying. They quickly signed a contract and just chatting over tea that Arnold insisted to cook. Blossom was just talking about her favorite book, Romeo and Juliet, which she read at the first time when she was ten years old, when the doorbell rang again.

“God, the fucking rector needed an emergency meeting with my faculty. I'm sorry I didn't warn you, Arnie.”

Cheryl brought the cup of tea to her lips and froze in that position. Antoinette Topaz herself flew into the store like a hurricane.

“It's okay, Toni. Come here, I want you to meet someone.” The owner did not even notice the frightened look of the red-haired and good-natured called his colleague to them.

“Some surprise?” Toni's smile immediately is gone and the strings of her apron slipped from her fingers as she noticed the redhead sitting opposite her employer.

“It is Cheryl Blossom, second seller while I'm gone.”

Topaz could not utter a word, standing still, opening and closing her mouth, taking deep breaths.

“Toni.” Cheryl's voice broke. “Hey.”

Arnold looked between the girls in confusion.

“So, you ladies know each other?” A satisfied smirk spread across his face. He could not even imagine what it was that connected the two. Toni nodded slightly, still in a daze. To see Cheryl again? When did she calm down after that visit a few days ago? It was too much even for her. The phone behind the counter rang, forcing the man to get up from the table.

“Excuse me.” He withdrew, leaving the girls alone. This prompted Cheryl to jump up from the table, approaching to Toni.

“Toni, I really didn't know you worked here. My God, I'm sorry. I didn't know…”

Toni raised a palm, stopping Blossom in mid-sentence.

“Are you going to work here?”

Cheryl bit her lip guiltily and nodded.

“I can leave. I just need a job, Toni. I have to get back to normal after what happening in recent year. “

“No, it's…” Toni took a deep breath, struggling with the most frightening thoughts in her head that haunted her about this girl. “It's nothing. You can work wherever you want.”

Topaz didn't know what else she could say in this situation. It just unsettled her, and she couldn't think rationally. Fate apparently decided to take her last nerves. She couldn't even think about how she would see Cheryl almost every day, how she should explain her work with her ex to Veronica. But, God, she was so tired of fighting herself. She no longer had the strength to argue with Cheryl. They fought because of their situation enough.

“I have to leave to get some special books for our auction next week. Toni, will you tell Cheryl about work? “

“Without problems.”

Arnold left as quickly as he could, leaving the girls standing in the same places in uncomfortable silence.

“So...” Toni cleared her throat, finally tying the apron at her waist. “Has Arnie explained anything to you yet? “

“We just made a contract and talked about the books.”

“Good.” Toni took another deep breath. “Let’s go.” 

Topaz conducted a brief tour of the store, showing everything that was possible: all sections, stands with programs, which involved their store, a warehouse with books, located under the store. She also gave Cheryl a simple form, consisting, in fact, of a cream apron with the logo of the store.

“We have a free dress code, but think about the fact that you have to climb the stairs more than half the time, because many of the books are on the top shelves. Also, we need to set up a few shifts where only one of us will be working most of the time.”

“Toni…”

“We mostly work together, but I have classes on tuesdays and fridays, so you have to be alone until five p.m. You can also make a free schedule. “

“Toni…” Cheryl didn't like Toni trying to ignore her. It was clear that they remained in a strictly working relationship, Toni, is unlikely, was going to exchange with her at least a few phrases, but this ambiguity hung over them.

“What? Do you have any questions?”

Toni was hostile, and Cheryl couldn't blame her. But she was also the most vulnerable person Cheryl knew, so she was worried about her. Yeah, even though she hurt her, it didn't take Cheryl a second to not worry about her.

“I want you to know that I'm really sorry.”

“Cheryl…”

“Listen to me.” Cheryl's voice became more confident. “I can apologize to you forever, and I'm sure you won't forgive me or believe me. But I didn't want that. I've hurt you enough to leave you alone. But the last few days have been hard. Even though I'm not trying to make excuses, I want you to understand. It pains me to see the disappointment in your eyes, but I deserve it. I deserve every ounce of hate, but you can believe me. I'm not here to ruin your life again. I just need a job to stop depending on my mother and finally to mean something in this life.”

Toni stared in shock at the girl in front of her. You could literally see the gears spinning in her head, trying to process this information.

“We're not friends anymore, Toni. But I'm asking you, just give me a chance to be a good colleague for you. Will you let me?” Cheryl's tone was laced with pleading.

“I'm glad you understand that, Cher. We're not friends, but I know how devoted and loving you are to books. I don't want to deal with your shit anymore, but you can work here, and there's nothing I can do about it.”

Cheryl pursed her lips. It hurts. But she didn't just come back. She came back to earn her trust again, to correct her mistakes, even though it was damn hard to do.

“Okay.”

Toni ignored her remark, looking under the counter and pulling out a few brochures.

“You study in the morning?”

“Yes, from next week, if I pass all the tests, I will study from nine to three.”

“That's more than fine.” Toni nodded to her thoughts. ” We work from ten to eight. You'll be working part-time from afternoon to the evening. Do you want to start tomorrow, or do you want to start today?”

“I have nothing to do today.” Topaz nodded, forcing herself not to share with Cheryl courtesies more than that.

“I think you can make out the books Arnold worked with.” Toni came out from behind the counter, pointing at the unassembled boxes under it. “And read these brochures. Here are all of the rules about books care and about the auction that will take place next week.”

Antoinette did not wait for an answer and went to the other end of the store, leaving Cheryl alone.

****

It was so fucking hard. She wanted to tell Veronica that Cheryl was working with her all night. But she also saw how carefree and happy her girlfriend was. The girl was promoted at work, and now she did not need to communicate with annoying customers, she was transferred only to work with permanent.

Topaz could not look Ronnie in the eye, because she would have understood. Not that Toni had any feelings for Cheryl, so she kept the news a secret. No, no and no! She's just tired, okay? She was tired of feeling guilty, not at ease, because she would have to share a job with a person she knew almost half her life.

It wasn't in her jurisdiction. What was she supposed to do? Tell Arnold that Cheryl is her ex-girlfriend, and she's also fucking irresponsible? Deprive her of her livelihood? As much as she hated her, it was a purely personal inner hatred that would not spread to work. She wasn't raised to be a vindictive bastard. Especially since it would be bullshit. Cheryl loved books, she cherished every folio she borrowed from Toni. So she just had to be patient and get used to it.

“Thinking about anything in particular?” Veronica noticed the girl's detachment and came closer to her, placing the glass she was wiping on the table. 

“It's just that Arnie's going to Boston for a couple of weeks, and next wednesday's a very important auction. I'm a little nervous.”

“Toni, you've been working with this guy for over six months. He trusts you enough to leave, so what are you worried about? Everything will be fine, especially since I can help.”

Toni laughed, finally taking the second towel off the shelf to stop thinking about the bad and help her girlfriend with routine things like washing dishes.

“You've only been to my job once, and then scolded me that you almost suffocated. Don't you expect me to believe in your unselfish help?”

“It really smelled like something musty. And yes, you're right, I won't do it unselfishly.” Ronnie leaned forward, pressing a kiss against her girl's plump lips. “You owe me.”

“Okay, okay, got you.” Topaz grinned. She managed to shake off her doubts. She'll mention Cheryl, maybe one day in a casual conversation, that's all. After all, she had long ago learned to solve problems as they came.

****

Cheryl's not tired at all. Working with Toni was exhausting, but not hard. And exhausting because pink-haired ignored her all four hours, which they conducted together. They had not exchanged a few words, and even to the good night at the closed door of the store, Toni did not answer. Blossom had no idea how could hurt a loved one to such an extent that she stopped seeing her at close range. She didn't know, but she felt it herself. And yet, she enjoyed the day. No one said that it would be easy for her to correct all the mistakes she had made over the past year. It wasn't easy to get rid of the drugs she was addicted to because of Nick, but she did it. Means, she will overcome this.

Moreover, she really wanted to. She had to pass several transfer exams to show the level of knowledge that she received in the first two years of study, and then she would continue to study for another two years. She would have found a job in the specialty, bought a normal apartment, would have lived a happy life. And she had every chance.

The girl prepared a light dinner and decided to do unpacking things that she did not have the strength to disassemble yesterday. She was grateful to her wisdom, that took a box of trinkets from Thistle house. She didn't need to transport the many photographs and souvenirs from the old apartment she shared with Toni. And now she lacked the memories of those times, when was just wonderful. She madly regrets that she threw away those fragments of her life that always pleased her, but then it was right. She couldn't stop thinking about Toni all those months if she was looking at pictures of them together, she'd just kill herself. But part of her still hoped Topaz had taken something.

Although, there were a lot of things in Riverdale, too. The redhead couldn't get past the board she and Toni had been decorating for the last few years at school. Topaz was madly interested in photography at the time and captured literally every second of their lives, so everything was there. Their first kiss, the first party with mutual friends, Cheryl's initiation into serpents, Toni's first performance with Vixens, the last day of school and a photo of their first apartment. This made Cheryl smile and cry, so she took only a few photos, deciding to put the rest in the box. She wasn't planning on hanging up everything to remind herself of her stupidity every day, just part of her was afraid that Penelope would one day destroy it all.

Cheryl put only two photos on the nightstand in front of the bed: Jason in the form of Bulldogs and the photo that Jughead had taken. In this photo, Cheryl was hugging with Toni, Sweet Pea and Fangs, and it was her first day as a Southside serpent. She had never expected to find a family in such an evil city as Riverdale, but the Topaz family and all of Toni's friends were proof to the contrary.

They even has a tattoo of the same tattoo old gang that was not in effect for several decades. But for them it was something like a promise not to betray each other ever. And Cheryl broke it. That's enough!

Blossom got out of the box the latest thing, trying not to think about what she's frustrated, and removed the box back under the bed. In her hands was a small velvet box, which she found in the things of her father five years ago. She learned from Polly that Nana Rose had blessed Jason to marry her, giving them a family heirloom, but they never had opportunity to start a family. Fate decreed otherwise, taking Jason so early because of a stupid boat accident when he was with his friends on Sweetwater. Apparently, when the father in the identification of his son took his things, he did not think that it is necessary to return the ring to the bride. But Polly insisted that Cheryl keep it. She said she wasn't going to be as happy with anyone as she was with Jason, and Cheryl was going to be.

But the red-haired woman was no longer near the person to whom she wanted to give this ring. She took a deep breath, wiping away the unwelcome tears that had not left her since she took out the first photograph. She got out of bed and went to the closet in the far corner of the room. She took out a box of jewelry from the top shelf and carefully placed the ring there. Maybe someday, it'll go to someone who should have had it for five years.

Blossom decided to postpone taking other things apart, because sitting there and remembering everything that she had experienced, she completely forgot about the time. She had to come to the college tomorrow to get some more papers and pick up the material that she had to repeat for the exam. She had to try.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh, it's hella huge another one. I'm so tired today to please you and update that story. I really need a little break. Anyways, have fun.

Toni came to the store quite early, immediately turning the sign "closed/open" on the door. The store wasn't supposed to open for another hour and a half, but she didn't want to be home alone, and Ronnie ran off to work before she could finish her breakfast and kiss her girlfriend. Topaz didn't mind that her girlfriend loved her job so much, but she missed that she seeing her only in the evenings and on sunday. Work in the store was simple: only a few dozen people a day visited them, purely because of their location near the college. But still, satisfying the students’ uncomplicated desires was easy, so most of the time, Toni would just sit at the table by the window and do her homework, or just read her favorite books, which was her privilege as a store employee.  
And now, throwing her things at the counter, Toni took the "Three Musketeers" from the shelf and went deep into the store. Arnie set the tables so that she could see everyone entering the store, so she wasn't afraid that something would be stolen while she was distracted. The girl made herself a cup of tea in the utility room, which they used as a small kitchen, and returned to the hall, sitting comfortably on a chair.

Opening the page where she stopped, Toni plunged into reading. It must have been hours before Antoinette was a little tired. This book really inspired her and, literally, forced to call Dumas one of her favorite authors, but everything had its limit. Her vision was not perfect because of her passion for reading at night under a blanket with a flashlight when her mother made her go to bed, so she needed a break.

The girl put on her apron and decided to sort out a few books that could be safely replaced by newer and more popular. She had only to climb the ladder, because her height did not allow to reach the upper shelves, as the bells on the door rang. Toni swore as she went back down, but all she saw was Arnold.

“Hi.” The guy smiled good-naturedly, handing Toni a cup of coffee from Starbucks. “I knew you were here.”

“Am I really that predictable?” Toni gladly accepted the drink, because of many hours reading making her sleepy. “Hey.”

“You're just responsible, and often enjoy the privilege to read books.”

The man winked as he unloaded a small bundle of books directly onto the counter.

“I took some of Adam Smith's and Charles Dickens's collector's editions, and I hope you'll sell them at a decent price at auction.”

“Just about that.” Toni would have been a liar if she said she wasn't worried. The auction was held twice a year, so she was lucky enough to attend one, but Arnold was there. “I'm worried you won't be here. I can sell books, of course, but what if it goes wrong?”

“There will be many acquaintances, Toni. They came here not once, they hang out here a lot. You've seen them a hundred times. Just spend the evening following the script we prepared, and in the end, sell the collectible books to the highest bidder. That's the thing, and the after-party, of course.”

“I don't remember there being an after-party at the last auction, or did I leave quickly?”

“It wasn't, you're right. But what could be better than a good book and a small party with good wine, snacks and karaoke?” The man carefully printed out the wrapping paper, showing Toni the contents. “God, if it wasn't for the auction, I'd buy it myself.”

“Karaoke? Are you serious? What century do we live in?” Toni laughed. She realized that nothing important was waiting for her, and Arnold would be able to deal with the clients, so she returned to the stepladder.

“Trust me, after a few drinks, you won't be able to get away from karaoke.”

“I wish you could check it out.” Toni picked up a few books as the door opened again, this time letting Cheryl in.

“Hey. Congrats with the first officially working day.” Arnold was insanely friendly. Nowadays it is very difficult to find a person who will answer your smile with a smile.

“Hey. Thanks. I'm glad I have a job.” Cheryl walked deeper into the room and stopped beside Toni. “You need help?”

“Sure.” Toni handed Cheryl the books she was holding and continued to attentively inspect the shelves. Cheryl put her things in the counter, taking the books out of Toni's hands.

“Where should I put them?”

“Toni showed you the warehouse?“ Cheryl nodded. “That's where we keep the books that nobody buys for a long time. But then we restore them and put them out again, so you have to go down there.”

The guy took the spare key out of the drawer and handed it to Cheryl. So some time has passed. Girls again did not speak to each other, only worked well, freeing up the shelves for new editions. Arnold tried to keep the conversation going at first, but then his enthusiasm faded. He did not understand why Toni, who loved to chat with him about college, home, books, suddenly turned into an ice queen, but also to climb into other people's affairs he did not plan. The customer came in about an a midday, and Arnie suggested Cheryl try to sell her first book. Nothing difficult to find the girl the book was not, therefore, Cheryl coped admirably, causing a smile to the lips of Stevenson, and complete indifference from Toni, who was back for reading books.

“Everything okay between you two?” Arnold whispered to Cheryl almost in her ear as she stood with him at the counter and looked at the books the man had recently purchased. 

“Between us?”

“You and Toni. She is some kind of weird closed.”

“We're old friends.” Cheryl shrugged her shoulders. She had known this guy for two days, not that she wanted to talk about her betrayal to the first person she met. Moreover, as time passed, she wasn't ready to publicly declare her orientation. This has always been her main problem.

“Understood, not interfering. Simply she indeed cheerful personality, constantly talks about Veronica and favorite authors, and here, she's quiet.”

“And what does she say about Veronica?” Cheryl bit her lip, looking curiously into her employer's eyes. Curiosity ate at her, but more, of course, anger. They had so many great moments together, and what, that cheating crossed it all out? Now Toni only had good memories about Veronica? The unloved, selfish part of Cheryl took over her mind again.

“She's been her roommate for a long time, kind of longer than she's worked with me. And so, they are dating for a couple of months. But she won't stop talking about how great she is. She's in love like a teenager.”

Arnold smiled, but then stopped, noticing the angry expression on the redhead's face.

“Well. I need to learn a program I missed. Can I do that now?”

“Sure.” The guy was embarrassed by the abrupt change of subject, but said nothing. “I'll let you know if I need anything.”

Cheryl nodded, picking up her bag and moving deeper into the store to take the second table. Her eyes bumped into Toni a couple of times, but she decided that cramming right would be more useful than hurting herself with another thought of pink-haired girl. So she took out the handbook and began to read.

****

The week passed quickly. Arnold was constantly here and there, but by friday he had finally left New York, leaving his store for two students. Cheryl joined pretty quickly, skillfully combining enjoyable job with studying. It turns out she didn't kill the last of her brain cells while she was addicted to illegal substances, and even remembered something, so it was pretty easy to prepare for the exam.

Especially today, when she was in the store all alone. Toni, as she had warned on Monday, studied from morning until five, so Cheryl didn't know what to do. Of course, she repeated all the material that was asked, served about fifteen customers, which was huge for their store. It seemed that everyone wanted to buy books before the weekend, and Cheryl barely had time to help with the choice. But it was only before midday, and after, Cheryl was all alone again. She tidied up, dusted the shelves, changed a few books on the bestseller stand, and her work was done.

Blossom took a deep breath as she walked to the science fiction shelf and picked out the first book she could find. Up to five hours she still had time, and then it will occupy herself by the presence of Toni.

Nothing had changed during those three days: Toni was still talking to her purely on business, and the only informal ones were "hello" and "bye", but she was also a great company. They got into a little habit of sitting at neighboring tables in the evenings and doing their homework, or just reading books. Cheryl missed this girl so much but she couldn't complain about Toni's detachment. She should have thanked all the gods in the world for Toni being here. 

She could spend hours just sitting, pretending to read, and she, meanwhile, stared at the girl in front of her. She was very concentrated often, biting her lower lip between her teeth, and overwriting a summary of the lesson in a notebook. The heart and mind of the red-haired girl literally stopped while she contemplated the most beautiful picture in front of her. When she watched Toni, she always remembered the moment Topaz asked Cheryl to be her girlfriend.

She experienced not the most comfortable moment in her life then, because Jason got acquainted with Polly and all less time devoted the sister. But Toni was around with her almost constantly. Cheryl hated being alone with a girl because she was terrified of her feelings, which she suppressed by any means. She was so tired of trying to love any guys, tired of pleasing her mother, who noticed only Jason. She asked Toni to pick her up that evening, on one of the motorcycles that girl often borrowed from her friends in Southside. They went to Sweetwater to take a break from everyone. There Cheryl complained Toni on her life, that she is in the Jason's shadows, that mother calls her loveless and abnormal. It was there that Toni firmly squeezed her chin with her fingers and said that Cheryl was sensational. Then Cheryl couldn't hold it anymore, frantically pressing her lips against Toni's lips.

Blossom was distracted when another customer came inside.

“Excuse me, could you help me?” The handsome brunette smiled, passing inside and putting the book on the counter.

“Sure. What can I do for you?” Cheryl pulled her hair into a tight ponytail, tying her apron around her waist as she walked.

“I bought the book a week ago, but I never got around to reading it. And now I realize I buy not what I wanted. Can I bring my money back?”

Cheryl wondered. She hadn't faced with that, but apparently she couldn't take the book back.

“I'm afraid you can't. I think all I can do is helping you find the right book.”

“You don't understand, girl.” The guy's voice abruptly ceased to be good. “This book has cost me dearly, but I'm not even going to read it. I'll just return it and get my money back.”

Blossom looked at her watch, which showed ten to five. How she missed Toni now. The girl always managed to find a common language with these guys, who were always "right". Of course, most of the time, she just kicked their ass. That was the part Cheryl loved most about her.

“Can I see the check? You have to understand that I won't accept a book that can't even be bought in our store anyway?”

“I lost the check, obviously. I can't find it, but I assure you, it's your book.” Cheryl kept glancing at her watch, as if begging it to move faster.

“But I can't help you.”

“It's just an unnecessary piece of paper.” He hit the counter with his book, causing Cheryl to jump. “Bring my money.”

“Hey, Cheryl. Are you okay?” The girl's heart fell to the heels of relief. Toni opened the door, swiftly stepping inside. She noticed through the windows that a customer is annoyed.

“This Intern can't bring me my money back.” The guy put his hand in his hair. His eyes flickered from side to side, making Cheryl think. Well, of course, how did she not understand before? He was breaking, whites of his eyes bloodshot, and hands finely shakes. Apparently, he was hoping to get some money for the book to buy a dose. Oh, how familiar that was to the redhead.

“I think Cheryl explained to you that we don't take the books back. But if it's in perfect condition, you should show me the check.”

“I don't have a fucking check.” The guy grabbed the book, clutching it in his hand until the knuckles were white.

“Okay, you need to get out.” Toni grabbed the guy's bicep, squeezing hard. But he tore his hand away, leaving the store.

“You okay?” Toni glanced at the redhead, and for a second, Cheryl thought she saw a flicker of concern. It gave Cheryl fucking hope, so she tried to put it out of her mind.

“Yeah, I'm just glad you came.” Cheryl smiled. “How did your day go?”

Blossom didn't want to push the girl, but they didn't talk for a week. She should have at least tried.

“I don't like friday because it's the one of two days except exams when I have to be on campus.” Toni sighed wearily, reaching for the apron under the counter.

“Hey, I got this, okay? You should go rest.”

Toni a few minutes staring right into the eyes of the girl opposite, why the redhead's back was covered with goosebumps. She missed those brown eyes so much she couldn't even describe this.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. You have the right to rest. Especially since you're gonna be working a big shift next week.”

“Thanks.” Toni awkwardly grabbed her bag, dropped it at the counter, and walked over to the tables.

Cheryl did not prevent her, just standing in place, slightly leaning on the counter, and check the tape in instagram. But Topaz did not leave the girl for long. Cheryl almost jumped in surprise when cup of tea appeared before her. Toni stood in front of her, holding the cup in her hands.

“Thanks.” Blossom smiled, trying to hide the blush that came from such a simple but caring gesture.

“We're still not friends.” Toni snorted, rolling her eyes and blowing on the hot drink.

“Of course, you just made me tea. There's nothing wrong with that.” Cheryl smiled as she took a sip of the freshly brewed chamomile tea, which was Arnold's favorite tea. Actually, Cheryl didn't know about Arnie's favourite drink, just there was no other tea in the kitchen. 

“Exactly. Also, there's nothing wrong with you letting me get over it a little.” Toni reasoned aloud, looking strictly in her green the glass. The girl tried to convince herself of this, most likely.

“Yup.”

They stood for so long in absolute silence that they no longer seemed uncomfortable. Cheryl was embarrassed that Toni was standing in front of her instead of sitting on a comfortable chair just a few steps away. The clock almost exceeded six when Cheryl, accidentally glancing behind pink-haired's back noticed Veronica crossed the street to the store.

“Your girlfriend was going to visit?” Toni spun around. The cup almost fell out of her hands with this maneuver.

“Under the counter, Cheryl, now.” Toni waved her hand, causing Cheryl to literally crawl under the table. “Faster, I'll explain later.”

“I'm not gonna sit under the table just because you don't want to show me to your girlfriend.”

“Please, Cheryl.” Toni grabbed Cher's wrist as she reached for her cup of tea. Blossom felt the heat all over the body from a simple touch, although obviously it was a fever from irritation. Toni was so afraid of making herself look bad to Veronica.

“Nicely.” Blossom rolled her eyes, carefully taking the cup so as not to betray her, and squatting down. She could thanks Arnie later for making the counter tall enough. Cheryl disappeared just in time because the bells above the door rang.

“All alone in this big store? You are not afraid?”

“Not anymore.” Toni turned to the door, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans. Her heart was pounding like crazy with the realization that Ronnie had almost caught them. They weren't doing anything illegal, but the girl never told Ronnie about Cheryl. If she caught her, it would look like Toni was hiding something.

“What made you come?” Toni was nervous. She knew that Cheryl had a rather flighty temper, so she could give herself away on purpose. But was there any honor left in her?

“I just wanted to see my girlfriend.” Ronnie came closer, hugging Toni around her waist. She leaned over to kiss her, but Toni turned away, forcing her to leave the kiss on her cheek.

“Ronnie, you know I'm against this at work.”

“I don't think anyone's here. It would be very tempting to fuck you on this counter.” Veronica whispered into Toni's ear, biting her earlobe. But it was still too loud, which made Toni uncomfortable. Cheryl was still there.

“Veronica, I'm working another two hours, and I'm not gonna break the rules.”

“You're boring.” Lodge grudgingly broke the embrace, seeing the detachment of her girlfriend. “I wanted to take you home early. No one would even know.”

“I'm too tired to argue with you about this. I won't let Arnold down. He trusts me too much.”

“Some books are more important to you than me? We hardly see each other. You could have made time.” Lodge was angry, crossing her arms. “I'm not a sex monster, Toni. But the last time I saw you without clothes was almost a week ago. It's annoying, to say the least.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Toni saw Cheryl holding onto the counter. Apparently her legs began to go numb from the awkward position and force her to sit on the floor in her expensive jeans from Versace, was akin to torture.

“I'll be home soon and I'll be yours as long as you want, okay?” Toni gave the girl a conciliatory peck on the lips, praying that she would leave without suspecting anything.

“Ugh, okay. Pray that I am gracious in two hours.”

“You're the best person.” Toni smiled, giving Ronnie a quick hug.

“I know. See you at home.”

Toni exhaled, leaning her palms against the edge of the countertop and lowering her head. She heard Cheryl growl and finally got to her feet. The evil grimace reflected on the girl's face. The last time Toni had seen that look on her face when she broke Nana's favorite vase in Thistle house at night when no one was supposed to notice that she sneaks inside.

“Tell me, Antoinette Topaz, what was that?”

“I didn't tell her you worked here. I don't want any trouble with my girlfriend because you have nowhere else to work.”

“So it's my entire fault again?” Cheryl smiled angrily, crossing her arms. Her kindness again clouded, letting the hbic out. “And how often do you blame me for all the deadly sins?”

“Are you that innocent, Cheryl? You ruined my life!” Toni screamed, no longer able to hold back. Maybe they just needed to yell at each other. Toni did not give them this possibility when she left and struck out Blossom from your life.  
“I know, but it's your fault too.” Cheryl pointed at Toni. Her nostrils flared with anger.

“And what is my fault? That I gave you not enough? Well, I'm sorry. I don't have any fancy houses and a lot of money your boyfriend had.”

“It's your fault for not letting me explain. It would be easier for both of us if we just talked. But no, you did the smart thing by just leaving me there alone. Did you at least make sure I was okay?” Cheryl came out from behind the counter, standing close to Toni.  
“Were you okay? Did you make sure I didn't kill myself after you betrayed me?”

“Don't say that.” Cheryl's voice hoarse from the scream. “I called so many times, I came to see your parents and friends. But you just refused to see me.”

“I didn't want to see you, and I still don't. Didn't I have the right not to hear your excuses after all?”

“These excuses directly touched you, Topaz. The last few months before we broke up, you were completely estranged from me. You were just fixated on getting into fucking college. Yes, I was desperate to support you, and I did everything I could, but when I needed you, you were gone.”

“So explain. Okay, I'm ready to listen.” Toni crossed her arms over her chest, which tactlessly heaved from the convulsive sighs. The adrenaline in her blood was boiling because she hadn't argued in a long time.

“I'm not excusing myself, I'm just telling the whole story.” Cheryl took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. The tone of her voice faded a little, and she began.

“Penelope's been calling me almost every day for months. Apparently she had a crisis, and she drank a lot. She was take it out on me every fucking second, and I couldn't drop the call because she called and called. She threatened to hurt my grandmother if I stopped answering my phone. At first, I just thought she was crazy, but this woman is such a good manipulator that I really regretted that I bought the phone at all. She called me deviant over and over, she threatened to take me to a boarding house where they treat me for homosexuality. She invented various curses that await me if I do not stop adultery with a woman. And I… I'm so tired of this. I just wanted to feel normal for a second so my mom would tell me she loved me instead of her hate speech. I failed, and you can blame me for that. You kept telling me I was strong, but it didn't work without you by my side.”

Cheryl took a breath, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand.

“Just remember, Toni. You were too busy. You tried to find enough money to pay for the course, you took part-time jobs, and then you hung out with the guys at the college to join the company. You just forgot about me. And no wonder the moment came when I made up my mind. I was a mean, little, deviant girl who'd rather get drunk and sleep with the first guy she met than fight for happiness with the girl she loved.”

Toni broke down, crying almost in unison with Cheryl.

“You could have just told me!” Toni shouted, hitting Cheryl's hand on her arm. “Why you kept quiet?”

She felt all the pain the redhead had felt when she wasn't around. She knew exactly what Penelope was capable of. She had often comforted Cheryl from hysteria her mother put her through. But Toni thought things would change after they moved.

“I tried. I tried to tell you that day because I needed words that everything was gonna be okay, but you waved me away, saying that you had to go to work. I've never been able to handle these on my own. I thought you knew.”

Toni didn't know what she could say. Her perfect wall of hatred collapsed with Cheryl's words. She cherished the idea that Cheryl was a perverted psychopath fucking a guy on their bed. But she never stopped being the person Toni had met her, not for a second: alone, broken, weak.

“I don't know what to tell you, Cheryl.” Toni ran her fingers through her hair, not even trying to hold back her tears. She bit her lip to keep from sobbing too loudly. But Cheryl didn't care because she was shaking, hugging herself.

“You don't owe me anything. I'm still the one who cheated on you, Toni. I just wanted you to know.”

Topaz nodded, trying to breathe, but she couldn't. The girl left Cheryl alone for a second to get to her bag and grab a pack of cigarettes from a hidden pocket. She returned to the hall, gently taking Cheryl's wrist to get her attention.

“Do you mind if we smoke?”

Cheryl looked at Toni in bewilderment, glancing at her hand.

“Are you smoking again?”

“No.”

Cheryl nodded, wiping her tears with her hands. She kept sniffing the air, despite the she had runny nose. Toni walked to the door, changing the sign and closing the door from the inside before asking Cheryl to follow her. The girl led the redhead to an old staircase in the backyard, where they climbed together to the roof.

Toni sat on the edge of the brick wall, legs hanging down. Cheryl hesitated to sit down, but, nevertheless, could not refuse such a chance. She didn't regret telling Toni the truth. Although she was a little ashamed of the fact that shifted part of the blame on pink-haired, in any case, she not considering Toni to blame in this situation.

Topaz lit a cigarette, passing it to Cheryl, and then lit it for herself. They sat side by side, slowly poisoning each other with harmful smoke, but it helped them to calm down.

“I always insisted you tell me everything, Cher. And at the most important moment, I just wasn't there for you.”

“No, Toni. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I don't think it's your fault. I just need to blame someone so I don't feel like shit.”

“My fault, Cher. I'm so madly sorry for you.” Toni lowered her head, quickly finishing the cigarette and throwing it down, before it extinguish on the bricks. 

“Stop, Toni. I told you for selfish reasons, to make me feel better.”

“Do you feel better?” Toni looked curiously at Cheryl, who had also finished her cigarette.

“A little bit. It was just hard to keep it to myself. The only person I told about the affair was your father.”

Topaz raised her eyebrows in surprise, gasping with indignation.

“Did you talk to dad about it? Cheryl!” 

“I met your mom on saturday when I went to Riverdale. She invited me to dinner, literally changing my plans. If she hadn't seen me in the store, I would have definitely been drunk.”

“You got a problem with that?” Toni again found the Cheryl's arm, oddly enough, she painfully wanted to keep Blossom next to her. 

“It was with alcohol and drugs when I met Nick. All the more, this helped not to think about you.” Cheryl swallowed, and tightened her grip on Toni's fingers in her palm. “But I got over it.”

“What did my dad say?” Toni's voice was hoarse.

“He said I should fight for you, Toni. And I'll be cursed if I ever let you down again. Well, I'm not stupid. You love Veronica, and I broke your heart too much. But I can't be without you in my life, even though it's your fault, too. You're tying me to you.”

“Forgive me, Сher. I was selfish for not letting you explain for so long.”

“We're here now, aren't we?” Toni shook her head. “Then I'll be fine. What about you?”

“Me too. Not right away, but I'll be fine. Thanks for telling me, Cher.”

“You're welcome, Tee-Tee.” Cheryl bit her tongue, guiltily taking her hand back. “Sorry.”

“That is all right.” Toni ignored the nostalgia for the nickname that only the redhead called her. “Come on, it's getting late. We should go home.”

“Okay.”

The girls returned to the store to pick up their things and prepare the room for closing. They didn't return to work until sunday, so they both had time to be alone for a while and think.

“See you the day after tomorrow?” Toni closed the door, looking back at Cheryl, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot.

“Certainly.”

“Good night, Cheryl.”

“Good night, Toni.”

****

Toni didn't want to go home, probably for the first time in a long time. She was so exhausted that fight with Veronica she wouldn't survive, and the fight foreshadowed. First of all, Toni was very tired, not to mention the emotional shock that she had experienced during the conversation with Cheryl. Second, she still hadn't mentally prepared herself to talk about Blossom working with her. But she had to do it, because on wednesday Lodge is going to help her with the auction, which Cher will be present. She also had no desire for intimacy with her girlfriend after the events of the day, and Ronnie made it clear what she wanted.

Toni walked the dark streets of New York, smoking the third cigarette in a row. Cheryl was right, because Toni had sworn give up smoking at the prom. And she did! But now she didn't know what else will help her to get rid of oppressive feeling of the chest, which forced her to literally burst into tears in the middle of a busy street. She'll finish that pack she bought a few months ago, just in case, and she won't touch her cigarettes again. After all, for a complete happiness lacked only lung cancer. Just one pack! Most of all, Toni dreamed of a hot bath with aromatic oils, delicious food and a long sleep. But she knew the rest would be the last thing she would feel.

Toni didn't notice when she got home. All she could do to climb to her floor and to cross the threshold of her apartment. The girl stopped at the entrance to the building, looking sadly at the light in the windows in the kitchen. Apparently Ronnie was waiting to feed her something new. She just loved to try to cook dishes of different countries.

She decided to finish her last cigarette, chew mint gum to knock down the smell of fumes, and finally gain some courage. She reached for the mint pads in her bag when her phone rang. Toni had so rarely spoken to her parents recently because of studying and work that seeing a picture of her mother on an incoming contact was a pleasant surprise. Moreover, it gave her a little more time to be away from Veronica.

“Hi, mom.” Toni smiled contentedly as she tossed the cigarette butt into the urn.

“Hi, honey. Have you completely forgotten about us with your studies?” 

“I'm so sorry, just, i really was so busy.”

“That is all right. I'm calling to make sure my baby's okay. Moreover, we haven't talked heart to heart in a while.”

“You have no idea how much I miss it, mom.” Toni loved that she could always discuss anything with her parents. But now, she wasn't sure if she was ready to talk to her mom about Veronica, who she didn't even know about, or Cheryl, who she would adore anyway.

“So tell me, Antoinette. You saw Cheryl?”

Topaz took a deep breath. Even in such a seemingly spontaneous conversation she cannot escape from Cheryl. At all, Toni relished, that parents accept the redhead as their own child, after all she could not count on it in her Blossom's family. But when the girls broke up, and Toni first lived with her parents in Riverdale before renting an apartment, she was furious at any mention of red-haired in their house. 

“Yes, mom. I know you gave her my address.”

“Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Just some part of me was hoping, you know.” Toni could have sworn her mother crossed her fingers at the possibility of reconciliation when she dictated Cheryl's daughter's address.

“No, mom. We didn't. But we talked like normal people. We even said a lot more words to each other than we have in the last few months.”

Toni bit her lip, trying not to betray her excitement. She knew she could only talk to her mother about it, and she was given an excellent chance.

“And now she's working with me. And I learned a lot about why we broke up. I feel so bad, mom. I've been blaming her for all her mortal sins all this time, but it turns out it was my fault, too.”

“And there's nothing else you can tell me, of course?”

“Not now, mom, please. I just needed someone to share my thoughts with.”

The woman on the other end of the phone took a deep breath.

“No matter how long it takes, Toni, I'm your mom. I'm always ready to listen to you and give you advice.”

“I feel so bad.” Toni didn't want to upset mom, but she couldn't hold back the sob of despair. “I've learned something terrible, and I'm so ashamed that I can't fix it.”

“You can always try again. You and Cheryl loved each other so much, sunshine. She'll beg you for a second chance.”

“Talking about why she can't do it.” Toni ran a hand through her hair, passing through her fingers a few pink strands that began changes color. “I'm kind of dating someone. And I feel great with her, mom. I loved Cheryl and I don't think I'll ever stop. She's my fucking first love that no one can replace. But my heart hurts too much to try anything with her again. And I don't know how to trust her.”

“It's time for history, isn't it?”

Toni frowned, not understanding what her mother was saying. It was getting cold outside, so she wrapped her jacket more tightly, thinking about going into the hall.

“You don't think your father's the only one who's good at telling stories, do you?” The woman chuckled. “When you were little, Toni, your father left us.”

Antoinette could not believe her ears. Her parents have always been the standard of loving couple. They never even fought. But not everything was so fantastic, as she thought. Did her dad leave them? Terrible doubts began to creep into her head, but Amelia interrupted her thoughts.

“However, he did not last a couple of days away from his little angel. But he made a mistake I thought I'd never forget. He got drunk at a dirty bar on the South side and cheated on me with a random girl. But, honey, I forgave him. Don't tell dad, but I've been warming up to this resentment under my heart for years, even though I pretended it was okay. I watched him take care of our family, how he combined his main hobby with a real job, so that we had everything. I've seen how he dotes on you. How could I kick him out when he needed us and we needed him as much?”

Toni, once again tonight, didn't know what to say. Lately, she had moments when she felt like her entire vocabulary was just disappearing. During the conversation, she saved up all the phrases that she wanted to say, thought through everything to each letter, but as soon as it was her turn, her mouth is dry.

“Toni, your ex-girlfriend may have made a lot of mistakes, but she only made one stupid one that she's ashamed of. I can see in her eyes how sorry she is. When I met her at the store, I thought she'd run away if I talked. But she bravely stood it and even went to visit us. Jonathan a few days did not stop talking about the fact that you have every chance to get back together, because Cheryl is ready to fix it. And you see, she took the first step in talking to you. It was her initiative, wasn't it?”

Toni nodded, but then she realized that mom couldn't see her. The girl was chilled through and through, so pressed the phone tighter to her ear, she headed inside the building.

“Mom, I don't need to get back together with Cheryl. I don't want it. I'm in love with Veronica, and I want you to meet her one day, to show you how great she is.”

“Okay, I understand you. But you still want to keep Cheryl away? Not communicate with her?”

Topaz mused as she walked to the elevator. She knew that this conversation should end, because the farther away, the more her mother tried to instruct her "on the right path". And she couldn't think about Cheryl anymore and not get hysterical. Some part of her even wanted to break and find Cher.

“No. I want to try to recover our interaction.” Toni sighed, leaning back against the wall in the elevator as it began to slowly climb. “We were not only in love over the years. She was the best friend I could ever dream of. And the selfish part of me still wants her in my life. But I can't let that happen. We had a fight with Veronica three times this week, and that's all after Cheryl showed up. If I have to choose, I'll choose Ronnie.” 

Toni's heart protested. It stubbornly refused to agree with her opinion. It just broke through the chest. She could literally hear its screaming hysterically that Cheryl was the only one, but her brain ignored it.

“Whatever you say, dear. Dad and I will support you either way.” Her mother's voice was noticeably sad, and Toni was disgusted that for once, after talking to her mother, she had upset her. “When are you going to introduce us to Veronica? Have you been dating long?”

“Almost three months, and I was thinking of bringing her to our place for my birthday. What you think? It's in a week and a half, so I need to ask if you'd mind.”

“No, Toni. Everything's fine. I have to make your father happy, and I think your girlfriend's waiting for you, it's too late.”

“Yes, mummy. Call me often, I really miss you. Good night.”

“Good night, sweetheart.”

The call ended, and Toni finally allowed herself to step out of the elevator that had stopped in front of her apartment a decent amount of time ago. She was lucky that no one came home during that time. Amelia never finished a call so spontaneously. She probably was mad at the daughter for her categorical position about Cheryl. But Toni couldn't help it, because she knew if she let Cheryl get any closer than she already was, she wouldn't be able to stop.

****

“Honey, I'm home.” Toni dropped her things at the entrance, taking off her shoes and hanging her jacket on the hanger. She made a mental note to pick up the bag later, because Ronnie hated it when she threw things around. She heard soft music coming from the stereo system in the apartment. The kitchen light was now off and the living room dimmed. Something was wrong, but Toni didn't think much of it, heading straight.

The picture she saw made her lower jaw meet the floor. Ronnie walked around the room in her underwear and heels, lighting scented candles around the perimeter. Well, how would you react when preparing for a quarrel, and got a romantic atmosphere. Topaz's mind blurred as the pleasant smell of cinnamon oranges began to permeate her lungs.

“Here you are, my hard worker.” Ronnie smiled sweetly, going towards the girl, immediately pulling her into a passionate kiss.

“What is it?” Toni pulled back slightly, placing the palm on the bare girl's waist, pressing her much closer.

“Little surprise.” The Lodge held a finger on the pink-haired's cheek, tucking the stray of hair strand behind her ear. “I'm sorry I threw a tantrum at the store.”

Veronica leaned in to Toni's ear, biting the lobe of her teeth.

“I just couldn't control myself because my girlfriend is so hot and I can't get her.”

Despite her fatigue, the familiar warmth spread throughout Toni's body, concentrating in her stomach. She wanted Ronnie, but this conversation that had been on her mind all night. She just couldn't use the girl, and then to pour on her the whole truth. What if she accuses her of treason?

“I couldn't wait for you to cross the threshold. I would have reprimanded you for such a late appearance.” Ronnie's bold fingers began to unbutton the buttons on Toni's shirt as she took a deep breath and caught her hands, interlacing her fingers with hers.

“You have no idea how much I want you, baby.” Toni looked guiltily into the girl's eyes, and it seemed that she immediately realized that something was wrong. “But I have a confession to make.”

“You're scaring me, Toni. Something's wrong?”

Topaz was silent, taking her girl by the hand and leading her to the couch to get comfortable on it. She took both hands of the girl in her and pulled it to her lips, generously endowing her knuckles with kisses. Her eyes darted nervously from side to side. She knew that Veronica had a character that could be compared only with Cheryl's character, so she did not even imagine how the brunette would react. She'll yell at her? Kick her out? Hit her?

“What is it, will you explain?”

“Cheryl's been working with me at the store for a week, so I was so preoccupied and distant, and I tried to get you out of the store today.” Toni blurted out in one breath, in defeat moving away from her girlfriend to the other end of the couch. She waited for an agonizing few minutes before she plucked up the courage to look Veronica in the eye, but saw nothing. Absolutely. Ronnie's eyes were glassy, and a small tear rolled down her cheek, which she chaotically wiped away with her hand.

“We had nothing, I swear, and it can't be. I love you, Ronnie, I just knew you wouldn't react well. I'm sorry, please forgive me.”

“You didn't tell me because you were afraid of my reaction?” Topaz expected Veronica to scream, but she remained calm. “How did you think I should react to my girlfriend working with her ex and not telling me about it?”

An evil grin lit up Lodge's face as she got up from the couch.

“You thought you could come in and say that? Ruin our night because some Cheryl Blossom couldn't find another job in fucking New York? Do I look like a fool, Antoinette? I'm supposed to believe that of all the places in the big city, she came to exactly where you work?”

“I didn't know she'd do it. And she didn't know where I worked, believe me.” Toni jumped, trying to grab Ronnie's hand, but she pressed a palm to her chest, as if trying to hide from her girlfriend. Or from an ex-girlfriend?

“Just don't leave me, Ronnie. I love you so, so much.” Toni's lower lip trembled as she looked into the brunette's indifferent eyes. She had to cover her mouth with her palm to keep from crying.

“I'm not leaving you.” Veronica had her fingers in her hair, sadly looking around the room, which she prepared for their evening. “I just need to think, okay? I'll sleep in my room tonight.”

Toni did not even have time to argue, as the Lodge disappeared into the room in which she lived when they first settled. Over time, as their relationship developed, Ronnie moved almost all the necessary things in the Toni's room, and she almost did not appear in her own room.

Topaz wearily sat back on the couch. She covered her face with her hands and allowed herself to cry for real. Why Cheryl pulled down Toni's life even then, it would seem that making things that did not depend on her?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never tool a break. Eh, who cares? But you will not praise me for this сhapter. I'm sorry!

Antoinette couldn't sleep. She knew tomorrow was a day off, so she wouldn't have to get up at the crack of dawn, but Ronnie would. Toni was worried about the girl. But she, no matter how hard, could not even close her eyes because in a moment before her eyes appeared a picture of a crying Cheryl and the other with a weeping Veronica. Toni felt like a person who breaks hearts, though, wasn't she herself with a broken heart. She didn't want to hurt Ronnie so much, but she knew keeping the news a secret for even longer wouldn't be the smartest thing to do. She hasn't done anything smart in the last week. If she'd just put in a little effort, she would have convinced Arnold not to hire Cheryl, would have cut the redhead out of her life again, but she just didn't have the courage. 

But she damn well shouldn't have let things slide. She loves Veronica, though sometimes it seems to her that all this is not happening to her. She hasn't recognized herself lately. Toni remembered perfectly well how it had taken her several years to realize that she loved girls, to admit that she loved Cheryl. And with Ronnie, it went so quickly and smoothly, as if the words no longer made any sense. But that wasn't true. Apparently, she just became an adult, and she has managed to experience love.

In childhood, when daddy was reading a bedtime story to her, Toni always thought of princes and princesses, who, it seems, were in love with each other at first sight. She always wanted to feel it. She remembered coming to school for the first time, noticing how many boys would be with her, and her heart lit up with hope. The girl wanted to find their own Prince charming, sharing with him her first kiss and realizing that he is her destiny forever. But the older she became, the more revulsion she had towards the male sex. No, she adored some guys like Sweet Pea, Fangs, Jughead, even Archie Andrews and Reggie Mantle when she transferred to Riverdale high school in eighth grade. Although, these guys always were her best friends, or even brothers, who she has never had. She didn't even want to think about dating any of them.

And when she met Cheryl, her body felt like it was being electrocuted. She sat at the first desk in their English literature class. It was the only lesson until the beginning of the ninth grade, when they were together in the same classroom. Cher wore large glasses and braces then, which did not deprive her of charm. But then she was not like queen bee and the main bitch of the school. She was just a passionate fan of the classics, who loved debating with Toni. And even when Toni was in complete agreement with Cheryl, she tried to come up with a different point of view, just to see how enthusiastic Blossom was proving her position.

After a couple of months of classes, Toni couldn't get rid of the sticky feeling in her stomach when she saw Blossom in the school hallway or in the cafeteria. She thought she was sick with something, but she soon gave it up. Toni didn't tell anyone except Cheryl, but at the beginning of the ninth grade, when Blossom took off her glasses, braces and began to dress like a model from the cover of a magazine, Topaz decided to start dating a guy. Moose Mason was a great option, and one day, catching him off guard after a workout, Toni pounced on him to kiss. But, unfortunately, or fortunately, she felt only disgust.

That night, Toni cried in the kitchen, telling mom everything. She was fifteen and in love for the first time, her eyes fell on the girl. Amelia was not even surprised, taking her daughter's hands in her own and looking into the depths of Antoinette's eyes.  
“Honey, I'm gonna love you anyway. It doesn't matter if you're in love with a girl or a guy.”  
“But I don't know what love is, mom.” Little Toni sobbed, throwing herself into her mother's arms. “I thought I'd feel it one day, but it's not coming. Is there something wrong with me?” Her voice turned to a whisper as she pulled away from her mother and looked around at herself.  
“How do you feel about this mystery girl, honey?”  
“I can feel my insides sticking together when I see her. Also, my palms are sweating, and my heart is pounding like I've run miles or trained with Vixens for a period. And also...” Toni felt her cheeks heat up and turn crimson. “I think I want to kiss her.”  
Amelia laughed, again pulling her daughter into her arms.  
“Well, I think you've fallen in love.”

The subject of love was the most difficult in Toni's life, but she was not eager to give it up. Yeah, she was willing to admit that she and Veronica were just getting started. It wasn't even one-fourth as great as she was with Cheryl, but she was determined to work on it. She'd been with Cheryl hand in hand for seven years, and Ronnie for only three months. After all, Ronnie had a right to think, and if they could handle it, they'd be fine.

Toni turned on her right side, pulling up one of the large plush toys that had previously stood by the dresser, closer to her chest. She's too used to hugging someone in a dream, she couldn't refuse this feeling. She planned to give the Lodge as much time as she needed, and at the same time, to communicate with Cheryl as rarely as she could.

****

She fulfilled at least the second part of the plan, namely, avoiding Cheryl. Veronica had been exchanging duty phrases with her for the fourth day in a row, not staying in the apartment for a long time alone with her. The girl had plans so suddenly that she left Toni to entertain her hopes in the corner of the couch. Topaz didn't talk to Cheryl at all. She tried to talk on sunday, but Toni just stopped her attempts, asking to leave everything as it is. 

Monday and Tuesday passed without Blossom in her sight. The girl asked for two days to pass the exams for which she had been preparing all last week. Yes, and these absences she needed to somehow justify herself before the teachers. Of course, she could take all evening, time off from work, but it would put her in no better light, so she played safe. Topaz gladly let her, sighing with relief as soon as Cheryl did not come to work on Monday. 

But wednesday is inexorably approaching. They were supposed to spend the day setting up the store for auction and then a karaoke party. Veronica was supposed to be there, but Toni wasn't sure her girlfriend was ready to help her.

After all, Toni knew she had to do it one hundred percent. As much as she didn't want to work with Cheryl today, she couldn't let Arnold down. The guy devoted his whole life to this store, he created an auction at which their store raised a good revenue, so Topaz was going to match.

She hasn't talked to Ronnie all morning again, or the girl hasn't talked to her. Toni greeted the brunette, and she just nodded, sitting at the table and finishing her breakfast. Topaz made herself a cup of coffee and went back to the room. Yes, she was to blame before Veronica, but she apologized, explained, why so came. And she just ignored it, as if she is guilty in someone's death. It hurt, and the longer Ronnie resented it, the more Toni resented it back. She drank her coffee and got ready for work.

Brunette sometimes behaved like a child. What could she think of for almost five days? About what a bitch Toni was? Well, Topaz figured it out on Friday, so it didn't take long. So what? She thought about the fate of their relationship? Shouldn't they have discussed this together?

Toni went to the store, inserting the key into the keyhole and noticing that the door was already open. She whined with displeasure. That fact that Veronica ignored her made her angry, so she could easily snap at Cheryl, which she didn't want to. Also, she learned to cope just with Lodge, fortunately without meeting with Cheryl for two days, so what is she going to say now?

And she needed to talk to the redhead. At least discuss the concept of the event and the after-party. Topaz pushed the door open, hating for the first time in her life the bells above her that announced her visit. Blossom came out of the utility room, tying an apron around her waist.

“Hey.” Her glowing smile screamed that she was in a good mood, that she was glad to see Toni.

The girl immediately began to surface fragments of phrases from a conversation with her mother where the woman talked about the fact that Cheryl is ready to fix it. But is Toni ready for this? Nothing like that.

“Hi, Cher. How were your exams?” Toni decided to talk to the red-haired, just to tell her about the concept, and again keep silent till the end of time.

The girl's smile widened. It always made Toni's heart melt. And now it worked as long forgotten drug making all the muscles in Toni's body to relax. 

“Everything was going great. I took the day off today, and the Deccan told me I was back on my course.”

“Congratulations, Cher. You deserve it.” Toni really thought so. She knew Cheryl would make a great lawyer.

“Thanks. How are you?” Topaz wanted to sink into the ground. Bravo, Toni, now she'll think everything’s okay between them.

“I'm fine. I wanted to talk to you.” Toni went deep into the store, only remembering that she was standing at the door, as if not going to go in at all. 

“Did something happen?”

“Auction's today.” Toni put her things on the nearest table. She's gonna be here a long time today.

“Yes, I know. Arnold already called to tell me the whole concept.” 

“Wonderful.” Toni's chest hurt. Is that good? Now you don't have to talk to her, don't you? But she was already so focused on the conversation that she felt hurt.

“But I told him I had to discuss it with you.” Cheryl's voice was a little shy, as she hadn't been used to hearing it since eighth grade, when Cheryl first asked if Toni wanted to read new books in the library together.

Toni was silent, so Cheryl is willingly continued. The girl took some books from her own bag to put them back on the shelves.

“He's not here, and I work with you. So it would be strange if I discussed the event with him.”

“Thanks, Cheryl. That's good to hear.”

“Why don't you talk to me? Did something happen to you?”

Here it is… Of course, Cheryl saw that fake detachment. She always knew how to read Toni like an open book.

“Yeah, but it has nothing to do with what happened Friday night. I'm really glad we talked, but it didn't change the reason we broke up.”

“But we could be friends…”

“No, Cher. You know very well we can't be just friends. So let's just get to work, okay?”

Blossom nodded sorrowfully and her bright smile faded. She didn't start talking to Toni again all day until she insisted on talking about the auction. It wasn't that complicated. At the back of their store was a nice open area with a few low shelves. They both could easily remove everything into the warehouse and make room for a party with friends. Toni will welcome everyone, hold an auction, and everyone can enjoy the evening.

They worked very well together. Years of communication allowed them to act harmoniously without any words. Therefore, it took them only an hour and a half to prepare the room. They also had dresses with them to change. But were many hours before the auction. They decided not to open the store today, so they had nothing special to do.

Toni decided that it would not be superfluous to remove another rack that blocks the entrance to the free zone. But they couldn't have moved it, so the best idea was to get all the books off it, and just push it aside. Topaz was doing it while Cheryl cleaned up the floor to make it shine. Clock showed two and a half hours, and the beginning of was only in seven. They decided not to hurry in order to arrange small tables around the perimeter and spread those snacks. 

The pink-haired woman climbed the top step of the ladder to get the books on the last shelf. Not that she didn't love her height, but sometimes she was jealous that Cheryl could just walk up and stand on her toes a little bit to get anything.

“Be careful.”

Cheryl walked past, carefully holding a bucket of water and a mop. She finished the mini cleaning and now she had to put everything in the utility room.

“I climb this ladder every day, I know how to do it.”

Toni reached for the farthest book, lifting one foot slightly from the ladder, and when she returned to her seat, she missed the step. Books appeared before her eyes as she felt herself losing her balance. Of course, the fall wasn't high, but it certainly hurt. She closed her eyes, but instead of dropping to the floor on a soft spot, she felt strong hands holding her weight.

“And I warned you, miss "I know better how to do it." Cheryl snorted good-naturedly, not releasing Toni from her embrace. Topaz resolutely opened her eyes, meeting the warm brown eyes, in which she so loved to look for hours to count all the gold flecks in them.

“Thanks.” Their faces were close together. Cheryl held Toni in her arms only a few times, like when she'd had a little too much champagne at prom and couldn't walk to car in her high heels.

“You're not even wearing heels right now.” Cheryl apparently remembered it too, look to Toni's face with reverence.

Toni wanted to melt into her arms. She hadn't felt Cheryl's hands on her body in so long. But it wasn't that she wanted to feel Cheryl in any sexual way. She just loved to cuddle with her. Cheryl was very dependent on physical contact. Toni usually stroked her back under her shirt to calm her down.

“Let me go?” Toni was embarrassed by how hoarse her voice was. She hesitantly put her arms around Cheryl's neck to stay away from her face.

“Why should I?” Cheryl sighed in disappointment. Topaz noticed the red-haired woman's gaze darting between her eyes and her lips. On the one hand, it was scary as hell, but on the other, Toni never forgot the taste of her raspberry lip gloss. “Because I don't want to.”

Topaz was confused. The hurt part of her wanted it. Her loved ones didn't care about her: Cheryl, who cheated on her, Ronnie, who ignored her, knowing how Toni feels about it. She wanted to bury her fingers in the fiery curls and smear the lipstick on Cheryl's lips, as she always did. Every day, feeling a grudge against Veronica, more and more, she wanted it.

“You have to. Let me down, Cher.”

Blossom's grip loosened, forcing Toni to her feet. She still had her hand on the redhead's neck. It would seem, simply put, back off and go back to business, but something would not let her. It was literally pulling her to Cheryl like a magnet.

“I want to kiss you so bad.” Cheryl put her hand on Toni's cheek, forcing them to come closer together. “I want to feel your lips on mine again. It was my favorite feeling in the whole universe.”

Cheryl whispered, leaning her forehead against Topaz's forehead, until she could not even move.

“But you don't want that, and I can't screw things up between us anymore.” Blossom finally pulled away. “Let's keep working, Toni.”

****

Arnold was right from the start. She was sure that the evening would be great, because these guys were true connoisseurs of beauty and were willing to put their savings for the sake of books.

“Hi, Stacy.” Toni saw another friend, namely, Arnie's cousin. There were only a few minutes before they start, so the girl has long changed into her black strapless dress.

“Toni, great night. The atmosphere is gorgeous. I hope that the books will also be worthy.” 

“Sure, Stacy, as always.” 

Toni saw Cheryl coming out of the back, wearing a red short-sleeved dress. She didn't look too dressy, which used to see her Topaz, but she could admit if get dressed Cheryl in a bag from-under potatoes, she will look gorgeous too. Toni's legs gave way under her from the memory of the moment they had shared a few hours ago. Her willpower could go at the seams any second she felt a hot breath on her lips. She just missed her, how could she blame herself?

The clock struck seven when Toni went up on stage.

“Welcome to our humble abode. Every six months, my dear friend Arnold Stevenson spends excellent auction in the walls of his store, where you can find the rarest collector's editions. Unfortunately, your humble servant is away on important business in another city and he can't share that moment with us. But I'm happy to help him with that by holding an auction today. I ask everyone who wants to participate to take the plates with numbers from my colleague and come closer to me.”

The guests, who weren't really that many, came closer to the makeshift stage Toni was standing on. Cheryl also brought a small stack of books: there were a little more than a dozen.

“So, our first lot for today is “The Mystery of Edwin Drood” by Charles Dickens. The starting price is one hundred and fifty dollars.”

Toni was a little tired, but it was a wonderful experience. All the books were sold out in record time, but at decent prices. The girl was also pleased that fifteen percent of the proceeds will go to charity, it has always been Arnold's chip. This guy was a godsend, and Toni's heart was torn, seeing that no girl who obsessed with money did not even want to give him a chance.

“Are you okay?” Cheryl walked up to Toni until she was standing in a dark corner. The lights were dimmed, the DJ who was ordered by Arnie, came recently, but has managed to lighten the mood. Everyone was happy tonight, sipping drinks and dancing with their friends. Except Toni, obviously. She until the last hoped, that Veronica will come. She may not help her because she doesn't care about help, but she could just support her girlfriend. But she didn't show up, and Cheryl was there, asking every minute if everything was okay.

“I'm okay, just tired. How about you?”

Cheryl stood next to her, also leaning against the wall and glancing at the amused crowd.

“Perfectly. It was nicer than I thought.”

“Arnold loves it for this reason. You spend time in the company of friends, you know everyone, trust everyone, and you are comfortable on the auctions.”

Cheryl cast a cautious glance at Toni.

“But you're not comfortable? If I overstepped the bounds then I'm so sor...”

“No, this has nothing to do with you. I just expected something more not specifically from the event, but simply from this day.”

“Would you like a drink?”

“Sure.”

Blossom left again, leaving Toni alone. Perhaps it was her fate to be alone. She was always afraid of it, and so it caught up with her.

“Miss me?” The high timbre of Veronica's voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned her head so sharply to the left that she immediately felt an unpleasant pulsation in the neck muscles.

“Are you here?”

Toni rushed closer to the girl and would have hugged her if she hadn't been holding two glasses.

“Let's have a drink and talk.”

Toni willingly accepted the glass, immediately drinking alcohol without hesitation. She spent the whole evening reproaching herself and remembering all the sins that she needed courage.

“I thought for a long time, you probably noticed.” Veronica stared into the depths of her glass, afraid to look up at Toni. And she understood. Veronica didn't think so long because she wanted to forgive her, she thought so long because she didn't know how to tell her about the breakup.

“Forgive me, Toni, but I can't. You love this girl, as much as I'd like to deny it. You can try to deny it, too, but I see what I see. You'll do anything to make her feel good. And you wouldn't do that for me.”

“Ronnie, please. I want to be with you.” Toni whimpered, grabbing Lodge's wrist. “Don't leave me just because I've known Cheryl for seven years.”

“You say she's your friend, but is she? Just say you don't love her, and I'll stop doubting you.” Toni opened her mouth, trying to utter the words, which Veronica wanted to hear. She tried. It's just a few words, come on.

“I... I don't…” Toni took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. “I can't.”

The disappointment in the girl's eyes made Toni remove her fingers from the brunette's wrist.

“I knew it. You've just been leading me on, all this time.”

“I didn't cheat on you, I didn't even try. I love you, but who said I could stop loving her so fast?” Toni wanted to scream, but no one would understand her. First of all, she was throwing a party, not a tantrum.

“You can't love two people at the same time. You never stopped loving her, it's just that when she wasn't around, those feelings were dulled.”

Veronica looked like a fucking psychologist, but Toni didn't need a confession because she knew exactly how she felt.

“You're breaking up with me?” 

“Yes. I think we should break up. You'll never be happy with me, and I don't want to be second one.”

“Forgive me.”

“Over time, necessarily. Goodbye, Toni.” The brunette lightly touched her lips to pink-haired girl's cheek. “I already took things.”

Toni wanted to start begging the girl to stay, but she obediently kept silent, letting her go. Perhaps it would be better. She was in love with her, but she would never give herself to her completely, as she deserved.

“Is Veronica okay?” Cheryl's voice beside her made her wince. 

“I don't know.” Toni took another glass from Cheryl's hand. “She left me.”

Cheryl sighed heavily, taking the glass of alcohol from Toni's hand and placing it and her glass on the table next to her. The next thing Toni knew, she was in her arms. Redhead hugged the girl to herself, weaving her fingers in her hair and slowly stroking her head. Toni took a deep breath and cried. She had been feeling so bad lately that she just couldn't handle it. And all she had in this world, it's a constant confrontation, but she just needed support, which, it seems, Cheryl was ready to provide. 

“It's okay, honey, shh.” Cheryl pressed her lips to the pink-haired woman's temple, gently stroking her head. “Everything's going to be ok. You will discuss everything, and she will regret that she made such a decision.”

“It's my own entire fault.” Toni sobbed, tightening her grip on the girl's waist higher, burying her nose in the curve of her neck. “I'm so sorry for not supporting you and letting you do this. I am guilty before Veronica, because even after all these months, I couldn't completely give myself to her. I'm still thinking about a different person.”

Toni couldn't control herself, she just felt so good in Cheryl's arms. It's always been her fucking drug. But here Toni's eyes clouded , and her body the beginning of slightly shaking. Cheryl noticed the change and moved slightly to the side.

“You okay?” Toni blinked her eyes, feeling the weight spreading throughout her body.

“I don't know, my head is spinning.” Toni staggered slightly, and Cheryl had to hold her waist with one hand and hugged her.

“What were you drinking, Toni?” Cher put her hand to Topaz's forehead, feeling the heat.

“Veronica brought me something, I drank too fast.”

“You need to stand here for a minute, okay?” Toni nodded, moving away from Cheryl and leaning on the wall, trying not to black out.

Cheryl ran deep into the store, finding the girl Toni had been talking to at the beginning of the party.

“Hey, Stacy, right?” Cher called out to the girl, lightly touching her arm.

“Yeah, aren't you Toni's new colleague?”

“Yeah, listen to me. You know Arnold well, right?” The girl nodded. “Can you watch the store till I get back? Toni's bad, I need to get her to the hospital.”

Cheryl bit her lip nervously, glancing toward Topaz, who was standing against the wall with her arms around her.

“Something serious?” Stacey tensed, the smile faded from her face. “It's gonna be okay, I just need your help." "Don't worry, Arnold and I are related, so you can count on me.”

“Thank you so much.” Cheryl gratefully squeezed the woman's hand, immediately switching her attention to Toni. She quickly flew up to the girl, clasping her waist with one hand and the other, grabbing the phone and calling an ambulance to their store. Only this machine could appear here quickly with such traffic jams.

Cher brought a friend on the street, so that she could get some air. She looked very bad that Cheryl would assume that Veronica got her drunk with rum.

“Why doesn't your girlfriend know you're allergic to rum?” Cheryl snorted, removing a few strands at Toni's forehead that are stuck from the abundance of sweat.

“She's not my girlfriend anymore.” Toni groaned, stumbling and falling onto Cheryl, who held her upright. The ambulance came into view quickly enough. Several orderlies immediately jumped out of the car and carried a stretcher to the door of the store to put a pink-haired woman on it.

“What happened to her?” One of the guys in the white coat with a tablet in his hand turned to Cheryl while the stretcher was placed inside the car.

“I think it's an allergic reaction to rum. She urgently needs to clear her stomach. We've faced with this before, it's a very fast process.”

The boy nodded, jumping in the car and commanding the nurses to put Toni on a saline drip. 

“Are you going?” The guy was a little hard with the intention to close the door.

“Yes, Yes. Naturally.” Cheryl climbed into the car, immediately sitting next to Toni. The girl was unconscious, but her face looked peaceful.


	6. Chapter 6

Cheryl stood at the front desk and looked at the phone. She took the device from Toni's things and now she couldn't decide what to do. She was looking at Veronica's contact in the girl's phone. On the one hand, she no longer wanted to see this girl next to Toni, and now she had every chance to get the pink-haired girl back. But on the other hand, she saw Toni in love with a brunette and couldn't afford to ruin her life again. After all, Ronnie was so cruel to the girl because of Cheryl.

Blossom took a deep breath, pressing the call button and leaning the phone to her ear.

Toni had a gastric lavage, and she was resting in the room where she was supposed to spend the rest of the morning.

“Toni, Thank God you called.” Ronnie seemed happy. “I'm so sorry, baby. I was so overreacted. You're the best person in my life, please, let's try again.”

“Um.” Cheryl coughed awkwardly. “Actually, it's Cheryl. I was gonna say you got Toni drunk on rum, which she's allergic to.”

Veronica took a deep breath.

“How is she? Where? I'll come. Give me the address, now.”

Cheryl smiled. This girl was exactly the same character as herself.

“She's in Jacobi Medical Center. Room three hundred and sixteen.”

Cheryl dropped the call, putting the phone in her pocket to carry it and put it in Topaz's things. She didn't have much time to be alone with the girl, so she hurried back to the room. Toni was asleep, so she could sit quietly and say what she was thinking. Cheryl put Toni's phone on the nightstand next to the bed and sat down on a chair, immediately taking Toni's hand in hers.

“Toni.” Cher sighed deeply, pressing a kiss to the back of the hand of the girl. “You scared me so much, baby. I know I don't have the right to call you that anymore, but you still can't hear it or remember it.”

“You're the most important person in my life, Tee-Tee. You ever were, and are, and will be. I remember I promised your father I'd fight for you. I so want to do this, I want to completely restore your trust in me, I want to be the woman you deserve, but I'm late. You're in love with Veronica, and all I did was come between you, once again, messing up your life. I love you so much that my heart hurts. I want you in my life, even if you're just my friend. Knowing you for seven years, loving you for seven years, was the biggest gift, the biggest anchor I've ever had in my life. I've done a great deal of stupid things that I repent for. I want to be with you, but you deserve more. You deserve the whole world, Toni.”

Cheryl didn't notice how began to cry. She had to remove one hand from Toni's palm to wipe away the tears that were trying to fall from her cheeks.

“I hope you'll let me be your friend. At least your friend, Toni, please. And then I'll fix everything. I don't care how long it takes. I'll be the best for you, I promise.”

Cheryl rose from her chair, leaning over Toni to leave a kiss on her forehead.

“I love you, mon petit amour.” Cheryl smiled through her tears and walked away. It took all her willpower to just walk out the door and not turn around. It is assumed that the Veronica was in the hospital from minute to minute, so she was better to go. She didn't want to get into another conflict. But her heart sank with the knowledge that she had missed her chance. Why doesn't she just stay with Toni? Why shouldn't she fight for her happiness? But like she told Toni, she's just a little, weak, deviant girl...

****

Toni cursed all the antibiotics she'd been given. She no longer felt pain, but could not open her eyes or move anything. She seemed to have fallen into a coma, while hearing and feeling everything.

She wanted to scream, to grab Cheryl's hand, to stop her. She was surprised she didn't cry at her words, but the pills must have done something to her.

She didn't realize how much she missed Cheryl, the sound of her voice, the hugs, the palms of her hands that stroked her back and hugged her waist so tightly, the cherry scent that haunted Cheryl everywhere. She didn't want Cheryl to leave. She needed her girl, her friend, her first love.

Toni was trying to open her eyes when she heard the door knock. Her lips were dry and her throat was horribly sore. She had to work hard to get at least a couple of wheezes out of her mouth.

“Cher?” The girl desperately wheezed, immediately feeling the burning and stinging in the throat. She was so thirsty.

“It's Veronica, baby.” Toni tensed. What would Veronica need if she left her just a few hours ago? Where the hell did Cheryl go?

“Give me... water...” Toni croaked. Powers seems to be gradually came back to her, so she was able to slightly open her eyes a few attempts later.

“Of course.” Veronica has rushed in corridor, immediately returning in room with a glass of water. She gently lifted the glass to Topaz's lips, helping her to take a few sips.

“Thanks.” Toni sank back onto the bed. All her muscles were burning, her head was spinning, her throat was dry, and that’s how the rum worked on her.

This first happened about three years ago, when Toni and Cheryl got out on a motorcycle trip to California. It was the best summer of Toni's life: with cheap motels, walks on the beaches, the night sky with a star carpet, with the unbridled love that she and Cher gave to each other. They used to go to a lot of parties at the time, using their fake documents made with Reggie Mantle's help. They must have tried every cocktail, every kind of drink they could find. And then, one day, after a stormy drinking, Toni became very bad.

Cheryl was seriously frightened, fleeting sober and escorting Toni straight to the hospital. The doctor said that they were very lucky that the dose of rum in the blood was insignificant, and they quickly arrived at the place. Then Toni did not feel her body, as if it was filled with lead, it was hard to speak and breathe. But Cheryl was there every second, more worried than Toni was.

Oh, that was the second time she had Toni in her arms. It is true that she was then almost unconscious and under the influence of alcohol, as her girlfriend. But she flew into the hospital with her, standing on firm legs and with a clear look, as if she had never drunk.

“What happened?” Veronica gave Toni a moment to catch her breath before she sat down and took her hand in hers.

“I d-didn't notice that there was r-rum in m-my glass.” Toni croaked, still struggling with the pain in her throat. “I'm a-allergic.”

“I'm sorry, Toni. If only I'd known. I also regret about my words, I overreacted.” Veronica kissed Toni's palm, as Cheryl had done recently. Toni had a strange feeling about it. Resentment at Ronnie was still inside her. The girl so easily abandoned their relationship simply because of jealousy, because Toni didn't even give her a reason. Yes, Cheryl was her ex, who's been taking up too much of her time lately, but she didn't even respond to her. What exactly was she accused of? That she lived her life before she met Ronnie? That she once dated someone else? 

Topaz slowly pulled her hand out of Ronnie's grasp, taking a look of misunderstanding from her.

“You left me because I decided not to kick my friend out of work.” Toni's voice got a little stronger as she looked into Veronica's eyes. “You just threw the fact that we've been friends for seven years aside. All you thought about was that I was romantically involved with her, you were obsessed with jealousy. When I just wanted to be honest with you, not to upset you because I loved you.” 

Topaz took a breath. Tears gathered in her eyes.

“No matter how much Cheryl was a bitch, she always trusted me. Yeah, maybe she put my trust in her at risk, but always...” Toni coughed because her vocal cords were stretched. “She trusted me. And she had no intention of separating us. She was here before you, and you know what she did? She left!”

“She called me.” Ronnie whispered, looking at her hands resting in her lap.

“She could have me back, but instead she chose to let me be happy.”

“So let's do this, please.” Hope flashed in Veronica's eyes. “I came here as soon as I found out you were sick. You can give us time, we'll try to fix it.”

“It doesn't matter how long it takes, Ronnie. We've known each other for over six months, and in that time, you never learned to trust me. Especially after everything that's happened in the last two weeks, it's going to be very difficult for us to trust each other again. Let's just leave it at that. You were right, I think I still love Cheryl. I tried to hate her, but the hatred was growing only due to the fact that I could not cease to love and care for her. I grieved so much because I couldn't exist without her. You don't believe that a person can love multiple people at the same time, but I love you so much, Ronnie. I want you to find someone who wants you one hundred percent. You deserve to be the only one.”

“Is that your final decision?” Veronica was angry and had every right to be.

“Y-yes.” 

Lodge stood up from her chair, frantically adjusting her dress and hair. 

“Goodbye, Toni. This time it's final.”

The girl ran out of the room, slamming the door loudly, sending a wave of pain into Toni's head. She closed her eyes. There was no time for stupid pain now. The girl struggled to get the phone from the nightstand. Luckily, she asked Cheryl for her phone number on Sunday so she could contact her about exams and passes. Toni dialed the number and held the device to her ear.

“Toni?” Cheryl's voice was broken. Toni heard the girl sniffling. “What's the matter?”

“Where are you?”

“I went back to the store to close it.”

“I'm asking you to go back to the hospital, Cher.” Topaz couldn't help herself, letting a few salty tracks roll down her cheeks. “Come back to me, please.”

“Are you sure?” Cheryl took a deep breath.

“I want you by my side. I need you.”

****

Toni rolled her eyes when she saw a cardboard "Happy birthday" sign hanging in the living room. No matter how old she was: five, thirteen or twenty-one, parents always hung this inscription.

She decided to come to them on this day, so as not to celebrate the birthday alone. She could throw a huge party with a bunch of strangers, but she had no desire for it.

She was released from the hospital the next morning, and Cheryl, as a true friend, helped her with everything: she helped to get dressed, which made Toni blush all the way to the apartment. Cheryl summoned uber, helped get to home, has prepared young girl breakfast, from what she long refused, but Cher was adamant.

The girl also worked a few days alone in the store. Arnold wasn't there until the end of the week, and she wouldn't let Toni in. She was already feeling much better, but Cheryl was desperate not to let her do anything. At first it irritated Topaz, but then she found herself thinking that she missed the care from the redhead too much.

The girl was right: once they moved to New York, they stopped being the perfect couple that understood each other perfectly while living in Riverdale. They began to plunge into adulthood, which set priorities for them. But now Toni realized that maybe they had another chance.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Amelia ran up to Toni to pull her into her arms, was worth the only girl to appear in the hallway. “My girl is twenty-one. Quite already adult.”

The woman looked so happy, she hadn't seen Toni in months, but she was also touched by the moment.

“Mom, I'm all grown up.” Toni smiled, noticing how dad was slowly making his way out of the kitchen with a cake in his hands.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!” The man chuckled, taking a higher note. “Happy birthday, dear Antoinette! Happy birthday to you!”

Toni laughed, carefully blowing out all the candles on the white cream cake. She was sure that her mother spent a good half of the night to prepare this delicious masterpiece, as she did for her every birthday. 

Toni was incredibly happy. In such a difficult situation, in which she got recently, she, more than ever, needed the support of relatives. It was hard to part with Veronica, because the girl was her anchor for a long three months, even the abuse that they shared in the first months of life in the same apartment, were a distraction from the break with Cheryl. But now Toni realized that she needed to break up with this girl. She loved her, definitely loved her, but the feelings she had for Cheryl were so much more than love.

Letting Veronica go was the right thing to do, because now, Lodge could find someone special, and Toni could return to a casual relationship with Cheryl, for which she was no longer ashamed in front of anyone. They could try to start over, now that Toni knew the real reason for the breakup. But they had to go through all the obstacles to become even stronger. The main thing is that Cheryl was also ready for this.

Toni gave herself some time after the hospital, not prioritizing her relationship with the girl. She wanted to celebrate her birthday, consult her parents, and ask Cher about it on Monday. That was her plan.

“Well, what? When are we going to eat everything mom made?” Toni didn't bother going into the living room and putting her suitcase on the sofa. She will have time to sort out her things, which she took to her parents for two days in her childhood home. Now she just wanted to eat, because she hadn't eaten since last night, and talk to mom and dad about all the news that had happened before they saw each other.

“First, you need to accept your gifts.”

Toni nodded happily. She loved receiving gifts from her family because they knew best what she loved and what she needed. But Toni was surprised when mom and dad stood still. The girl saw the smiles on their faces, and then she heard the noise of the engine. Maybe they invited one of her old friends.

“You need to meet someone who's a little late for our get-together.”

“Oh, God, it's Fangs, right? Or Sweet Pea? I haven't seen the boys in, like, forever.” Topaz threw on the shoulders of her jacket that took off at the entrance to the house, and literally ran out into the street. But all her fervor cooled when she noticed the perfectly chiseled figure of the girl getting off the bike. She removed the helmet from her head, releasing the fiery curls from captivity.

Toni came down from the porch, coming closer to the motorcycle. The girl immediately admired the view of the motorcycle: twilight-black, shining in the rays of the October sun, polished, what can she says, it was Harley Davidson, it was beautiful in any condition.

“Wow, Сher, what a surprise.”

“Your parents insisted I come. I was planning on just giving you a gift when I saw you at work, but they wanted me here.” Cheryl awkwardly got off the bike, leaning slightly on it and putting her helmet on the seat.

“So much like my parents.” Toni wrapped her arms around herself, trying not to shake in the wind.

“I wanted to make you happy. I hope you don't mind me being here.” Cher carefully looked Toni in the eyes. She was doing everything in her power to help Toni these few days, and Topaz appreciated that enormously. 

“What are you talking about? It's good to see you, anyway. Especially since you haven't missed a single one of my birthday since we were fourteen.”

Cheryl smiled and buttoned on her jacket. Toni only noticed that the girl wore a red leather jacket of their teenage group, which perfectly emphasized her essence. 

“Remember your eighteenth birthday when your parents left the house and went to your aunt's in Greendale?” Toni nodded, not quite understanding, to what will lead this remembrance. Everything in that day was fine, even their little quarrel, after which they spent an unreal amount of time in bed.

“We had a fight that night because I wanted a party and you didn't. Remember what I did?”

“I remember Cher.” Toni couldn't help but smile. It was one of the craziest things Blossom had ever done for her. One of the most romantic, but still, crazy.

“I stood outside your house for an hour and sang.”

“The neighbors probably still remember.”

“Of course, I'm a great singer.” Cheryl grinned, standing up straight. Toni saw the girl glancing nervously at the bike, and only now realized that Cher had never had such a transport.

“But not "I love you, I'll never stop loving you", which you yelled your contralto.”

“But when you dragged me into the house, I apologized so hard and for so long until I was sure you'd forgiven me.”

The girl coughed awkwardly.

“Toni, I'm willing to apologize to you for the rest of my life because I'm guilty, but I just can't live without you. Those nine months were the worst of my life because I didn't live. I just existed, tried to survive every day that followed, taking drugs, drinking, having sex with a man I wasn't even interested in. And I know it doesn't excuse me, but I couldn't forget your smile, your eyes, and your dimples. I couldn't forget you, no matter how hard I tried. And I don't think I'll ever be able to, because you taught me to live differently, not to be a bitch that doesn't pay attention to others. You gave me everything I have: love, family, friends. I came at Jonathan's first call because I wanted to see you, make sure you were okay. Because I miss every fucking second you're not around, Toni.”

The girl could hardly stand not to cry, but her voice was shaking, and speech was constantly interrupted. Toni didn't even try, she burst into tears after the first few sentences.

“God, I'm such an idiot.” Cheryl slapped her hand against her forehead, stepping away from the bike. “I'll never forget that sad look when you saw Reggie buy the same bike. I remember how much you refused, but your look betrayed you unconditionally. You wanted this. Over a year ago, I asked Sweets to look for a motorcycle that we could fix and give you, but then we broke up. And this kid was waiting for its owner four long months. Sweet called me and said he found the bike, even though we're not together anymore. But it was a fucking fate, because we worked hard with him, looking for all the necessary parts.”

“Cher, you're not saying…” Toni opened her eyes wide, her lower jaw almost meeting the ground when she saw the nod and smile on Cheryl's face. The girl's eyes were wet, but she brightly smiled, seeing the Toni's reaction.

“This is yours, Toni. I'd really like you to accept this gift from us.”

Toni shook her head in disbelief, stepping back slightly to examine the work of art better. God, all her life she dreamed about a motorcycle, so to see how the Sweets and Fangs ride these motorcycles, it was just a test. She'd asked them for a ride so often. They taught her and Cheryl how to drive, and the girls often went out on field trips. They even rented bikes when they went to California. But Toni and her family would never have saved up for Harley.

“Cher...I... Oh, my God.” Toni leaned forward, drawing Cheryl into her arms. She wanted to spin the girl in her arms, but not only because of the bike, which she always dreamed of. She desperately wanted to answer all the words that Cheryl had said to her. She wanted to feel again the presence of this girl in her life. She was so tired of living monotonously and incompletely.

“Happy birthday, Tee-Tee.” Sherry whispered in her ear, placing her hands on pink-haired’s waist.

Toni closed her eyes, gathering all her courage. She hoped she wasn't making a mistake she'd regret. The girl slightly pulled away from Cheryl, looking in her eyes and trying to find one of insincerity, but saw only unbridled adoration, and those gold sparkles that she loved so much. Toni closed the distance, gently touching favorite lips.

Cheryl was taken aback, clearly not expecting that Toni would answer her monologue, but she immediately gathered. Her hands shot up from the Topaz's waist to her cheeks. She deepened the kiss, tasting every bit of the girl's lips, those lips she hadn't touched in almost a year.

“Cher.” Toni convulsively sighed between kisses, slightly pulling away and leaning her forehead on the girl's forehead. “Would you… Would you like to try everything from the beginning?” 

Toni thought she was going to fall underground because the wait was excruciating. But the answer was just a kiss that Cheryl has returned to her.

“Is that a yes?”

“Oh, hell yeah.” Cher hugged the girl, rising and circling her in her arms and making her laugh. When she returned her to the ground, she kissed those lips again, crushing the bottom with her lips, slightly biting her teeth, as Toni always liked, licking small bites.

“Wait, Cheryl.” Toni pulled away from laughter, after girl was very assertive. Topaz, still hugging the redhead, turned to her house. The curtains on the kitchen window were fluttering. “They're actually watching us.” 

Toni burst out laughing, glancing at her friend's reddened lips.

“Can we finally celebrate your birthday?” Cheryl grinned at too, not wanting to rollback from Toni nor on step.

“Of course, just one kiss and we'll go.” Toni bit her lower lip, digging her fingers into the red curls and pulling the girl closer.

And all they needed was another chance. Just a chance to start over and be happy. Just the right words, to recall reason, on which they once fell in love in each other implicitly. Just one embrace to remember the person who supported at any moment. Just one kiss to rekindle the passion that was the constant companion of this relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, i'm sorry that I don't live up to your expectations.First of all, after reading all the comments, I wanted to redo a lot, because your comments are constructive.But this is my pre-written work.I see this story like this, so I'm not going to change anything.It saddens me that many of you think Cheryl's loveless bitch. It is strange that the suicide attempt in the first season, after constant her mother's manipulation and the the loss of her only loved one, you do not consider inappropriate.But you think immoral the situation where Toni turned away from her, and her mother continued to terrorize her, and she broke down, got drunk and made a mistake.No more excuses.I believe that everyone, even the most holy person, can make a mistake.And no need to call them monsters.
> 
> As for Veronica and Toni... Choni are endgame for me.I also don't understand why you don't realize that it's impossible to stop loving someone you've known for years, someone you've loved for years.
> 
> Most likely, it was stupid to share such personal work, especially when many did not like it.But here we are.So enjoy it or pass it by.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't fair to leave you without an epilogue, so I came back. The end is trite, but a reference to it was in the fanfic. Thank you for this journey.

“Toni, baby, time to get up.” Toni squeezed the redhead's waist tight with her hand and buried her nose in the curve of her neck to whining in protest. 

“Come on, I can't be late for my own graduation.”

“Just a minute, Cher, please.” Toni kissed the girl absently on the neck to buy herself some time. It was a really bad idea to throw Cheryl's graduation mini-party last night. Of course, to see friends, to celebrate, to show the pride of the girl was great, but here's the morning hangover did not want to retreat. Toni has not consumed this amount of alcohol for a long time, but yesterday decided to relax. After all, she successfully passed the session, and her girlfriend will soon receive a diploma and become an excellent lawyer. 

“Does it hurt?” Cheryl hugged the girl, kissing her forehead.

“Yup. Can you speak not so loud, please?” Cheryl smiled, weaving her fingers into the girl's brown hair to gently massage. Still, she missed the pink tint of her girl's hair a little, but damn, it made Toni look a hundred times sexier.

It's been two years, and the red-haired did not cease to thank the higher forces that all this time spent next to this girl. Their reconciliation was not as easy as they both thought. It still remained unsaid between them the first few months. They tried to solve problems with trust, with housing, etc. In the end, they found nothing better than to go to a few sessions with a therapist. And damn it that was really what they were missing. The doctor brought to the surface all the unresolved issues that had plagued them throughout the years of their acquaintance. And when they talked about it, Toni was convinced that Cheryl no longer intended to experiment and hurt her. As if a stones had fallen from both their shoulders. They've certainly grown up in that time.

“Let me get you some pills and some water, okay?” Cheryl made an unsuccessful attempt to get up, but Toni groaned, refusing to let her go.

“T…”

“Shhh, you're my medicine. So be nice and put your pretty ass back on the mattress.”

Blossom couldn't help but laughed, which earned her a grumbling from the girl. Yes, she was lucky to have worked as a sober driver at the party last night, and frankly, she didn't touch alcohol, too afraid that her addiction would develop again. She drank only non-alcoholic cocktails, sitting with her cousin on a corner sofa in the club where they celebrated. Toni and the boys were rocking the dance floor while Cheryl chose to chat with Betty. She was a little ashamed that so rarely deals with a single member of family, who, in fact, cared about her. As soon as she saw Jughead, who was carefully holding his bride's hand, who was pregnant, Cheryl immediately forgot about her party.

As it turned out, Cheryl not only missed the proposal of marriage from the hobo, but also the great news about her cousin's pregnancy. But Betty cordially assured her that there was nothing wrong with that, especially since Betty herself was not very close to the girl. But they talked for a really long time, about everything and nothing. Elizabeth was very happy that the girls got back together, saw how happy they were next to each other. And then the fun began, because Toni got drunk and started to pull Cheryl to dance.

They hadn't hang out like that, most likely since that trip to California, only now Cheryl could remember everything to the smallest detail, while their trip was blurry because of the amount of alcohol consumed. Then Toni got sick, and they said goodbye to the guys who had promised to come to Cheryl's graduation and went home.

They went to Cheryl's house. Yeah, a few months after the reconciliation, they decided it was best if Toni lived in Cheryl's apartment. Everything in the apartment was too reminiscent about Veronica, which had disappeared from her life in an instant. They met once, to Ronnie claimed somewhat things, which since forgotten initially, but it was distance between them. Shortly thereafter, Toni learned that Veronica found the guy she's still dating. She didn't keep in touch with the Lodge, but she was pretty sure there was no more resentment between them.

The alarm once again rang out, making Toni whimpered, snuggling closer to Cheryl. The girl's free hand groped the phone on the nightstand to turn off the annoying melody. She caught a glimpse of the new message and decided to read it.

“Your parents will be here at ten.” 

“Are they going to come?” Toni raised her head slightly, her hazy gaze trying to focus on Cheryl's face, but it wasn't with the first attempt.

“You don't remember Jonathan's speech last night about that he'll never miss that event?”

Toni shook her head, painfully dropping onto Cheryl's chest.

She didn't feel ready to go out, but it was an important day for both of them. It became much easier for them to live together and interact when they began to pay more attention to each other. They were no longer those teenagers who cared only about their own success. That situation a few years ago very much hit both, but undoubtedly taught them a lot, helped to understand each other better.

“Okay, enough, I've already given you extra time, and now we have to get ready in a hurry. Last night's party was a lot of fun, but Arnie insisted on having a party at the store after the ceremony, remember? All friends, your parents will be there, so we have to be there.”

“I guess age makes you grouchy.” Toni giggled when Cheryl poked her in the side and moved slightly, letting the girl stand. Topaz stretched, flexing her muscles. She took a quick look at her girlfriend's naked body, and her headache went away.  
“Hey, baby, do you think we have some more free time?”

“What for?”

Blossom turned around, questioningly raising an eyebrow, as she could only she. Toni took advantage of the moment, grabbing her arm and pulling on herself. 

****

Cheryl's College graduation was the most exciting moment in two years. Most likely because many came to support her. She wanted her entire support group to be proud of her, which they undoubtedly did.

“You look beautiful.” She and Toni stood on the steps in front of the building while they waited for all the guests to come into the hall and wait for the ceremony to begin when Sweet Pea and Josie approached by them. Cheryl was incredibly glad that her best friends honored her with this visit. Things were really hard between them when she and Toni broke up. Sweet Pea was like a brother for Toni, so when Josie learned about the Cheryl's cheating she treated her very distantly. We can say that at the party last night, the first time they normally talked.

The girls hugged while Sweet Pea held Toni in a tight embrace, and then they swapped places. Sweets hugged the red-haired, slightly ruffled her hair, which had not covered by the red cap, which she purchased. The girl did not deviate from the tradition to wear red, so her traditional outfit stood out among others. 

“Sweets, my hair!”

“Sorry not sorry, red.”

Kevin and Fangs weren't long in coming. They showed up a few minutes after Josie and Sweet Pea. It was even more pleasant to see them, because they could not come yesterday. Cheryl didn't seem to have seen Kevin since prom, which she regretted. The guys looked unusually pumped up and tanned, which was a reminder of their recent vacation in Miami.

“Gosh, Cheryl Marjorie Blossom in the flesh, congratulations, girl.” Kevin hugged his friend, giving way to his boyfriend, who also happily shared a hug with red hair and went to hug Toni.

“Baby, do you want to wait for parents while I take the guys to the assembly hall?” Toni lightly hugged the girl's waist, leaving a kiss on her cheek. It was a little unusual that Toni did not have to wait by herself, because it was her parents. But, who are we kidding, Amelia and Jonathan have long since become Cheryl's family if they were her mom and dad.

“Certainly. Put guys in their seats and come back to me. “Toni nodded, seeing the boys off.

Cheryl stood on the porch, watching the other students walk into the building, surrounded by family and friends. It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, but she felt a little sad. In the end, no matter how bad mother Penelope was, a girl wished that her mother were present at this important event. But she couldn't even dream that Penelope will show the slightest bit of attention. She didn't even call to congratulate her daughter. Cheryl was sure that all of Riverdale knew about the news, because she had told Betty, and Betty had undoubtedly told her mother. But there was no word from Penelope.

Betty and Jughead also were not present at the solemn part, but it was a decision Cheryl. She couldn't let her pregnant cousin sit in a stuffy room with several thousand people for so long. Jughead, an ever-caring boy, agreed with her, offering his bride instead of the ceremony to go to the bookstore to help Arnold with the party.

Blossom glanced at her watch with an engraved serpent that Sweet Pea brought yesterday. They all had it once, but then someone broke it, someone just stopped wearing it, and the tradition was forgotten, almost as much as their indestructible group. But she decided to wear it today, because it brought her good luck in the good old days. The ceremony was still fifteen minutes away, and she was beginning to worry when she saw Topaz's couple getting out of the uber opposite.

Jonathan was holding a bouquet of red roses, which Cheryl adored for many reasons. He and Amelia smiled broadly as they walked toward the girl. She could see the joy on their faces, but there was something else. Pride. Blossom wanted to cry, but she blinked several times to get rid of the obsession and not to spoil the makeup. She'll probably never understand why these people love her so much. She's made so many mistakes, she disappointed them so often, but they're still here, still proud of her.

“Thank you so much for coming.” Cheryl hugged the woman, and then hugged the man. John gave her a bouquet, reading out a whole congratulatory speech.

“We couldn't miss such an important moment for you, dear.”

“Mom, dad, well, finally, it's about to start.” Toni appeared in the doorway. Her purple dress fluttered slightly in the wind as she moved so fast. “Come on, we need to take our seats.”

“Toni, take Amelia to the hall.” Blossom stayed put. “Jonathan and I have something to discuss.”

Toni frowned, she immediately wondered what the redhead was up to. But she only nodded, taking mom by the arm and disappearing behind doors. 

“What's wrong, darling?”

“First of all, I need your advice.”

****

The event clearly couldn't be compared to her high school graduation. Everything was much more solemn and pompous. She was awarded a diploma, she said a few parting words, as the best student of the course, and then they all went out together to take some photos. The rest of the graduates stayed inside to get snacks and celebrate, but they had to go to Arnold, who was undoubtedly ready to meet them.

Cheryl didn't toss her cap in the air, but at some point, Sweet Pea pulled it off her head and tossed it to Fangs. They played for a few minutes while the girls took photos, and then Sweets absurdly pulled cap on his head. It was smaller, but it held up a little thanks to his hair.

The girl was thrilled that now she'll have to add some more photos in her collection. She was also pleased that it was Toni who took on the role of photographer at the event. The girl returned to her hobby recently, but from the first photo it became clear that she has not lost the skill.

They stayed at the College after the ceremony for a while, heading to the outskirts of Manhattan to finally meet the rest of the guests of the event and celebrate.

Arnold welcomed everyone with open arms. The girls were very surprised, because he really changed the store beyond recognition. Everywhere hung congratulations, the room was decorated in the style of College. Also, in addition to the organizer of the party, Betty and Jughead, so there were many mutual Toni's and Cheryl's friends, with whom the girls met at auctions, which are now in the habit of organizing by themselves.

Stevenson almost stopped working, coming to the store only on special occasions. He met a beautiful girl during his trip, and recently, she decided to move in with him. The girls were very happy that Arnold found a loved one, although works for them increased.

This celebration was very different from yesterday. Yesterday the guys had a rest, drank, and just lived their young lives. Today, all they talked about was the future life that awaited them. It wasn't until a few years later that sweet Pea and Josie admitted that they couldn't live without each other, even though their relationship was based on sex from the beginning. 

Fangs and Kevin secretly got engaged in Miami, where former Sheriff Keller opened a new Boxing club, which later gave his son and his son's fiancé. The guys decided to stay and live there, but still found time to come and congratulate Cheryl.

Blossom looked at these happy couples and knew that she had to make the most important decision she could make. She couldn't imagine her life without Toni Topaz on her side. She was a small broken girl, but she had all the cards in her hands to become an adult woman who makes informed decisions and is responsible for her actions.

She looked around. Jonathan and Amelia were talking to Arnold, who was obviously quite a bit older than other guys. Toni had a nice chat with Betty about her pregnancy. Guys apparently talked about something interesting, sitting in the far corner on the couch and furiously gesticulating.

Cheryl never saw a better time. Of course, she had a lot of doubts when she first started thinking about it a few months ago. But the conversation with Jonathan helped her a lot, the man encouraged her in every way, helped to realize that she was not mistaken.

“What are you thinking about, girl?” Cheryl shuddered as Josie's hand fell on her shoulder. “Hey, it's just me, don't be so scared.” The girl stood beside her, casting a loving glance at Sweet Pea, who was arguing animatedly with Fangs.

“Nothing special, just something.” Cheryl shrugged vaguely, taking a sip of coke from her glass.

“It's everything okay between you two? Look, I don't want to be the annoying, hypocritical girl who gives you advice like she's never been wrong. So I'm just gonna be your friend and tell you to hold on to that relationship. I'm glad to see you're back together, you're right for each other. But I'm afraid your relationship won't stand any more trouble.”

“I know Josie. I'm trying to do the right thing, okay? I really feel like a lot has changed in me since then. I feel like a different person when I'm with her. I'm getting better, so I won't make that mistake again.”

“I... Сan I ask you something?” Cheryl noticed that Josie was suddenly uncomfortable, which meant it wasn't a pleasant question, but she nodded anyway.

“Why were you dating that guy? I know you were together after you broke up with Toni, but why? Wasn't it enough that you hurt Toni with what you did?”

Cheryl bit her lip. She was expecting this question, and to be honest, she had already answered it in the therapist's office, but Josie wasn't there. Blossom didn't even realize how much her best friend was attached to Toni, how much she cared about her, and God, Cheryl couldn't help but thank her for that. Toni was in need of close friends are nothing less than herself.

“I don't have a logical answer to that, Josie. After we slept together, after Toni left me, he was just the only person who was interested in me. He was not perfect, no one is, but he supported me at first. He said he liked me very much, though I hardly believed him. But he was what no, but stability. I realized my mistake too late, it took me a whole day before I finally sobered up and realized what had really happened. And then, I had no one else I could count on.”

“But you liked him? In romantic way?”

Blossom shook her head. The relationship with Nick was something of a failed experiment for her, for which she paid too high a price.

“I hope that taught you something, girl.”

“Definitely, now if you'll excuse me. I have to do something.”

Cheryl put her glass of coke on the snack table and walked over to the makeshift stage where guest DJ played light music to create an atmosphere. She asked for a microphone to say a few words while he turned off the music.

“Could I have your attention?” Blossom began by drawing attention to herself. Toni interrupted the conversation with Betty, looking at the girl in bewilderment. 

“I am extremely grateful to everyone that you came to support and congratulate me today. Going back to College and finishing it was one of the best ideas that ever came into my head. I feel like a real adult woman who knows what she's doing. But surely none of this would have happened if it hadn't been for you, the people who supported me all the way. Thank you. But special words I would like to say to my girlfriend. Toni, can you come to me, please?”

Toni smiled, still, nothing not aware of. Cheryl knew how to intrigue, but sometimes, surprises frightened girl. She looked at her parents questioningly, but they only smiled, which made Toni even tenser. But she obediently went to Cheryl, taking her hand and twisting their fingers. 

“My love, today I want to say a huge thank you to you. Having met you many years ago, I could not even imagine that I would find everything that I could need in life in one person. We shared the most different moments of our lives: from the most pleasant to the most painful. But from now on, I promise that as long as I live, I will love and respect you, support you, and do everything to make you proud of me.”

Cheryl lazily wiped cheek, on which flowed a tear. Toni looked at her in shock. She, like the rest of the guests, began to understand what Cheryl was up to. But Topaz still did not believe her imagination, deciding that she had to listen to the girl to the end. Maybe it's just a subtle gratitude, not what she thinks. But her heart quickened its pace, anticipating the cherished words. She could not be cunning, saying that she did not expect to hear this someday.

“I will get better and I will work to make our relationship stronger and better and better every year because I plan to spend the rest of my life with you. I hope you love me enough not to deny me a request.”

Cheryl turned to look at Jonathan, who was already approaching the girls, carrying a small box in his hands. Oh, yes, Cheryl not only asked his blessing and advice, she also insisted that he participate in her idea because he was a very important person for both of them. He wasn't just Toni's father, he was their mentor, their teacher, their loved one.

He smiled warmly as he gave Cheryl the velvet box. John kissed his daughter on the top of her head before going back to his wife, who was already beginning to cry, wiping her cheeks with a handkerchief.

“Antoinette Topaz, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Cheryl sat down a little, because the dress would not allow her to stand on one knee. Toni's hands flew up to her face, covering her mouth. She looked incredulously at Cheryl and at the ring in front of her. She knew what kind of jewelry it was. It was a Blossom family ring that once belonged to Cheryl's grandmother, until she gave it to her grandson. “What do you say?"

Cheryl bit her lip, looking hopefully into Toni's eyes. The girl nodded. Just a little at first, then again, until she grabbed Cheryl's hand and pulled her to kiss her. The crowd around them burst into applause, but they didn't notice anyone around, absorbed in each other.

Cheryl pulled away a few moments later, looking for Toni's left hand to put the engagement ring on her finger.

“How big a wedding do you want?” Toni laughed, still in shock.

“Actually, I'm not insisting on getting married right now. We can get married whenever we want, but I was desperate to call you my fiancée.” 

Blossom confused, looking away. Toni finger-tapped girl's chin, forcing her to look at herself.

“I love you, Cheryl Blossom, you know that?”

“That's all I ever dreamed of, Antoinette Topaz.”


End file.
